#but when neteyam found out about the wish that broke me

[neytiris-3rd-finger]

one of us | neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: when a person's life hangs in the balance, sometimes there is only one thing to do, one thing to ask of the great mother. a consciousness transfer, but the question remains: are you strong enough to pass through the eye of eywa? lots of feelings emerge as the only option left becomes the sole possibility

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: 11.8k

warnings/notes: finally, swearing, major angst, mention of sky people, mention of death, mention of an afterlife, lots of feelings (all mostly sad), crying, more heartbreak, with sad fluff, we're so close to the end (2/3)

series masterlist | one of us: part seven | requests are currently open for now

All energy is only borrowed, never permanent, and one day you have to give it back.

It hadn’t taken long for Neytiri and Jake to make it to the camp, the pathway completely imprinted in his memory. He couldn’t talk the whole ride as the only thought that seemed to reach his mind was a suffocating amount of guilt. The same guilt that once had rotted away in his stomach years ago when he was still a dream walker, when the sky people had long since invaded Pandora, and when he was still working under Quaritch’s terms.

That guilt almost killed him when he gained the trust of the Omatikaya people. When Home Tree was destroyed, Grace was killed, and the great war brought many warriors home to their Great Mother. Not many were sparred and those that had looked to him for the answers, the mighty Toruk Makto. It wasn’t easy and often it took guidance from many to get him to where he was today but now here he was in that forest, that same perilous feeling overtaking his senses. 

He had known you were sick, not the full extent of it or how long it had been going on but he knew. Which meant as an adult, who had been watching over you, he was partly responsible. Responsible for the outcome of your life, the effect it had on his children, on his son, on his wife, on the people. He had let other commitments cloud his mind; the sky people, the new technology they were bringing back to the planet, and how they were getting closer to the village every day. He decided to focus on those things rather than checking in on you. Whatever happened he was partly responsible. As they stopped near the lab, the grey confines of it taunting him, he also knew where he was responsible, Max and Norm were too — if not more. 

Jake slid off of the direhorse, Neytiri behind him as he approached the large steel door coated in scratches and dents — it somehow stood in this environment and within these elements. Neytiri stiffened at the sight of it, every part of her screaming to rush back into the forest away from the very place she deemed as evil and foreign. She had no motivation to step foot into the metal box but the thought of you, the real you left her heart clenching in her chest.

Worry was the sole reason why she followed her husband, clinging to his back. It was that along with the fact that Jake would need someone to keep him grounded. As he stared at it, the cage it had become, he felt all of his frustration come to the surface as the terrified thought crossed his mind that you were dead. Raising his clenched fist to the door, he knocked, the loud sound echoing across the trees. 

The first compacted door opened and they moved inside. Neytiri felt her anxieties heighten as they stepped fully into a small compressing box. Jake stared forward through the glass of the second door, gaze locked on a human man standing in a white lab coat near the keypad for the door. He was so small, so weak, so angering. As the air decompressed in the box, the scientist clicked the keypad and the second door slid open.

Jake didn’t waste a moment. He stalked in there as if he owned the place. It felt so strange under his large blue feet after having once rolled across these tiled floors. The sight of the lab brought so many memories back to him; the link pods, the screens — so many memories, most of which he didn’t find comforting. 

Max appeared on the other side of the room in his own lab coat, a worried kink in his brow. At the sight of him, Jake snarled not afraid to use his intimidating statue as he walked across the room, “Where is she?” 

The demand was sharp, cold, and uncommon to be directed at Max, as he was one of Jake’s closest confidants for almost twenty years. Max blinked in surprise up at the Olo’eyktan, and at the sight of Jake in this space, he got his own flashbacks of the first day. The first day, all those years ago that Jake got his avatar. Oh, how things had changed since then. 

“Where is she?” he asked again, tone just as cold as it was before.

“She’s in the back room, but—” 

The two Na’vi’s pushed by Max, bending down as they moved through the doorway into a smaller more compact hallway. Max hurried after them in a state of panic as Jake refused to shut his mouth, all of his fears taking flight in ugly ways.

“What, you think I wouldn’t have realized what was going on? In case you have forgotten this isn’t my first rodeo. I used to do this and an avatar doesn’t just collapse like that unless a link process is interrupted or something is fucking wrong. So, tell me what the fuck happened!” 

The room opened up in front of them with a single curtain pulled over the area to provide more privacy. Jake could see the outline of Norm’s body behind the curtain bent down and saying something. Max unable to fully find the words to calm Jake down or provide an explanation other than the truth, plucked the blue curtain into his grasp and pulled it aside.

Norm’s head snapped up in their direction, his eyes widening slightly at the site of the two tall Na’vi within the lab. He was wrapping a blanket around your exhausted frame and as the couple’s eyes fell down to the wrangled weak body, both of their shoulders dropped in devastation. The harsh furrow in Jake’s brow fell away and he found himself gripping onto the doorway to stay upright. The sight of you brought an image of Grace in her final hours to the forefront of his mind and it was difficult to swallow.

You sat, your body stuck to the mattress, slumped down as if you couldn’t even sit up. Two or three blankets were pulled up to your chest where wires stuck out connecting to monitors nearby. Jake's ears flickered at the sound of their beeping and found that the numbers of your heart rate and blood pressure should have been stronger.

IVS were hanging up beside you, the large needle lined into your arm. Your skin was ashen, sunken in, all color completely drained with large purple circles pressed along the skin below your eyes. They were barely open and he wouldn’t have believed you were actually alive if it wasn’t for the twitch in your bony finger and the steady beeping of the monitor beside you. 

“She had a seizure while in the link pod. We were able to get them to stop but she is very weak,” Norm answered and stepped back from your crumbled form. One that felt less like you every day. 

“Oh, Great Mother,” Neytiri found herself crying as she moved forward and fell to her knees at the side of the bed. 

She wished to be anywhere but there, but the sight of you had masked all of the discomfort and the rage that was interlaced deep within her bones. Instead, all she could feel was the ache in her chest from the broken looks of her children at your avatar form that had been completely motionless in her son’s arms. She felt herself aching for the soul that was slipping through the fingers of Pandora. Her eyes took in the unfamiliar but familiar face and cried, tears welling up in her widened eyes. She found herself scanning your nose, your closed eyes, the high lift of your cheeks, and the shape of your jaw. It was you, without a doubt. 

Jake was able to find his voice again, this time with a newly added edge to it, “Why was she in the link pod in the first place?” 

“What?” Norm’s eyes narrowed in confusion, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Why was she in there?” Jake was becoming hostile at that point. “If you knew she was sick, if you knew it was this bad, how could you let her keep doing this? Especially with the strain that it already was putting on her weak body.”

“Ma’Jake, please,” Neytiri asked, her voice gently sweeping through the tension of the room, gaining the attention of his rigid eyes. She tilted her head towards you, and they all watched as your head lulled from side to side at the many voices that filled the room. Your breaths were shallow, taking up too much energy that you couldn’t even open your eyes. 

Jake lowered his voice slightly but the edge remained as he glanced back and forth from Norm to Max, “You should have stopped her.” 

“You don’t think we tried? You don’t think we didn’t say something to her every day, warning her of the risks, demanding her to stop?” Max became defensive then as he stepped closer to the towering figure of one of his closest friends. His eyes narrowed, the same worry that filled Jake’s, reflected in his own. “She is not a child anymore.” 

“You mean she’s not your child,” the Olo’eyktan corrected and just like that, all previous feelings were ripped from the room, leaving it in painful silence. 

Both Max and Norm’s heads dropped for a moment as a thought crossed their mind — maybe they hadn’t tried hard enough. Maybe they should have powered down the system even if you ended up hating them. Maybe they should have done more to protect you even when you were never their child, their full responsibility to bear. Maybe just maybe even though you grew up before their eyes into a grown woman, they should have taken into account that it didn’t mean to cut you loose from support and guardianship altogether. 

Max shook his head, almost as if he was going to regret what he was about to say, “No, she’s not.” 

“She may not be yours or technically a kid anymore but when she is living under your roof, you need to have some responsibility. When she is living under your roof, she is still a child,” Jake sighed, feeling the anger start to dissipate as he sent another glance at you, at your human body. At the very body, he hadn’t seen in almost two years, not like this, not this small, this different. You had grown and would be nineteen in the next year and it showed — you had become an adult under everyone's noses. If only you had the ability and the time to make it. “How much time does she have?” 

“We can’t know for sure but based on her state and how weak she is… Weeks? A month or two maybe?” Norm admitted, the state of how he found you in the link pod still pressed firmly into the front of his mind. Your faraway gaze, rigid body, and trembling lips. Your lips shook as if you were asking for time to kiss you and grant you treatment. You were barely there and laying in that damn bed, you were barely there. 

“She doesn’t have a few months, not with the sky people invading. We could have serious trouble on our hands in two months. The sky people are coming, they are getting closer every day and I need a plan. A plan to protect my family, my people, and my land. I need a plan and I am not going to put a sick young woman in the line of fire. I won’t.”

Jake shook his head and stepped further into the room, looking around at the medical supplies and the neutral-colored walls. The sterile smell filled his nose. It all reminded him of the V.A. hospital when there was a big hole blown through the middle of his life. That’s what the lab reminded him of and it sent a shiver down his spine. You couldn't stay there, not like this. He wouldn’t allow it because whatever the fuck they were doing wasn’t doing shit. Even with medicine and science on their side, it had done nothing. He wasn’t about to lose another person because of his actions — he wouldn’t. 

“She can’t stay here,” he suddenly said, eyes set on his wife, “We can’t leave her here. I won’t.” 

Max stepped forward trying to get closer to you but Neytiri stood blocking him, “Jake, you can’t just—”

“You’ve done enough.” 

The two scientists’ mouths dropped, and both of their glares widened at the tall Olo’eyktan — a man who day one had never thrown caution to the wind in his life but since becoming a leader had taken on a new role to be deliberate in his actions, think accordingly, and communicate in a way to not piss other people off. It was like that persona was gone from that room for a moment and instead it was an overprotective parent who thought they had all the answers. He was bossy, haywire, and everything that resembled a father.

Somehow his cold tone and his rapid decision weren’t justifiable enough for Max. He had seen the impossible, and as a scientist, he had detested and forced himself to not believe it. Max had seen the impossible in Jake, in the consciousness transfer, in the balance of the world that had managed to change one man's life. He had seen the impossible with the Omatikaya people but at that moment with your life hanging in that very balance, he could only look to science, in the concreteness that was medicine.

“Jake, listen to me, she is sick. This isn’t just another dress-up game where she is going to run off into the forest to become something else. She won’t survive this.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” he snapped, eyes narrowing even further until they resembled golden crescents like the morning sun that crept through their tent every morning, “This has never been a game and you know that. To me, it wasn't and it sure as hell isn't to her. If you saw her out there, the way she is when she is in that body, you would know that. Except that I think a part of you already does, knows how much she wants it, and that scares the hell out of you. Especially since there is nothing else you can do for her, and it sucks. It really does... but do you hear me when I say we can do something? The people can save her.” 

“What like you saved Grace,” Max shot back, the words cruel and unnecessary and he watched as Jake’s face went slack. For a moment the short scientist reveled in the image, “I know it has happened, the unexplainable. Because what you witnessed... what happened to you was the unexplainable, but Jake that's what? A one in a million. You're the exception, we all know that, but she's not you. I don't like the odds, not when I have seen it. Her virus, her illness, and I am deciding to combat it with medicine. I am choosing science’s side.” 

Neytiri felt her teeth bare, sink into her lower lip, fangs glimmering from the white lights of the room. As a growl left her throat, she stepped forward protectively towards her mate, “And your medicine has done nothing. It’s done nothing!” 

At that point with two pointed gazes locked down on him, Max couldn’t help but glance your way knowing that every word they spoke was true. Any worse, you could be slipping away, out of their fingers, by the end of the week. If you hadn’t been getting better with the months of treatment they had been doing, the antibiotic and the fluids, what else could they do to help you? There wasn’t another option, and he knew right then science or not this was your last chance.

Norm looked from you to Jake and within that mutual stare, they shared an understanding, a silent understanding. Stepping forward, his palm fell to Max’s shoulder, “This is her only chance."

"Norm—"

"She’s not going to get better because she hasn't yet and you know that. This is her last chance. And yes, god forbid, Eywa forbid that it doesn’t work, that we somehow lose her... at least it will be on her own terms and in a place, she’d want to spend her last moments.” 

The words everyone had been avoiding were out in the air and it struck a chord, one that left them all in silence and complete denial. Only, because no one expected this. When you had been given your avatar six months prior, no one thought to think this is where you would end up, chained to a bed with the only thing to save you being that body. No one thought either that you would have fallen in love with the forest, the people, and the eldest son of the Olo'eyktan either, but you did. It happened. It all had happened and now it was beginning to unravel in front of them and suddenly they were being faced with a choice.

You were dying and the sky people were coming. Another war was soon to take place and Jake and Neytiri were making plans for the future Olo'eyktan. Neteyam would be Olo'eyktan one day whether you would be there to see it or not. It all was happening and none of them would have thought that when it was, you would be in the middle of a whispered conversation with the Mother herself.

Max wiped his eyes from behind his glasses and sent one last longing look to you. You once had been the little girl who'd sit on his lap for hours staring at a digital image of an avatar's brain with complete awe. Now there you lay, all grown up and possibly about to get the life you had always wanted. Your choice had been made up about the life you wanted as soon as you had entered that avatar body. And your choice would be his choice.

“Just, if you’re going to do it… The consciousness transfer, do it sooner rather than later. If you want her to survive it, you will do it as soon as you can. She's already lost a lot of energy.” 

It was the last thing anyone said and as Jake nodded to Max, reassuringly, his tough-guy act dropped immediately. Almost like they had come to a mutual understanding: one father to another.

From that moment on, there was a continuous movement of people in and out of the room. All bustling as they worked to disconnect your monitors, pull out the IVS, wrap your body up in blankets to keep you warm against the cold air, and secure a mask tightly over your face. Then just like that, you were ready and leaving as if it was always how it was destined to be. You, leaving. Norm and Max each took you in for one last time as Jake and Neytiri exited the lab, both hoping they would never have to be there again.

Jake couldn’t help but stare down at you, so small in his arms, so unlike the warrior he had gotten the privilege to watch the last six months. You had transformed just as he once had, gaining the wings like an Ikran, and you would fly away, not daring to look back. Evident in the lingering glances you sent his son and how you absorbed every part of the forest, you would give anything to be transferred into your other body. Then more so as with each night you spent in the forest, in your avatar body, the longer you would stay awake. Like you were hoping to forever prolong the linking process to that one still moment in time. Now, after all this time, you could have it.

As Jake climbed on his direhorse, he heard the shift in your breath along with seeing the small tremble in your body — the first sign of movement he had seen at all. Glancing down at you again, he found your eyes softly staring up at him, through heavy lids. He glanced at Neytiri then back down at you, taking your tiny cold hand in his own. He stared at his five fingers and compared them to yours as your soft voice filled his ears. 

“Don’t let Neteyam see me like this.” 

“She’s very weak,” Mo’at expressed, honestly as her fingers danced across your closed eyes.

From the moment you were brought back to the village, in your human form, it was like you were finally awake. Finally, seeing the world as more than a recurrent fever dream. It was a world you had only ever witnessed through another pair of eyes and someone else's skin. Somehow the forest had become so much more than a training ground to you over that time. However, you realized then, that no matter how many times you had seen it before, it would never top being able to see it with your own eyes. The ones you had been born with.

It was a dream that had been painted on your soul from the moment you had come onto this planet and as you stared up at the luminescent green foliage while you rode on the back of the direhorse, you felt as if your life was complete. Like Eywa was watching over you, reaching out her arms and promising you that whatever happened you would be okay.

Staring up past the trees to the black-coated sky littered with stars and planets, you felt a new kind of peace wash over you. Your breath had evened out and you blinked slowly, entirely entranced by the skyline scattered with constellations. The constellations that resembled the ivory spots speckled across his nose and his body. That's all you could think about — the ivory-speckled sky and how it reminded you of the glow that would overtake him at night.

Please, Great Mother, protect Neteyam and his ivory-scattered face. 

As soon as you got back, Neytiri distracted the kids, allowing Jake to get you to Mo’at without anyone seeing. Partly to prevent panic from appearing in the village, but mostly to stick to your one and only request. Don’t let Neteyam see me like this. Those six words served as a confirmation to Jake. A confirmation that once again only served the greater suspicion that there was more going on under the surface. Deeper feelings were involved here whether the two of you had admitted it, and Jake wasn't sure how he hadn't seen it before. But maybe he had.

The lingering gazes. The light touches. Neteyam sneaking out of the tent at night, for months. His attitude suddenly improving. He was always cautious around you when Jake was close by as if he was afraid of the Olo'eyktan connecting the dots from the softness he displayed to you or the look in his eyes, which was less than innocent. It all had been there but for months, Jake Sully had been turning a blind eye to it all. Despite his duty as Olo'eyktan to accept the arranged marriage that would be pushed onto his son along with all the other responsibilities, he let the interactions and the feelings play out in plain sight.

Now, he was going to willingly do what any Olo'eyktan would and protect the last wishes of a member of his clan. He was making a split decision based on the six words he never thought you would have openly admitted. That it was and always had been Neteyam for you. How it was the one son of his that had been promised a throne and a chosen future mate, the one son you couldn't have willingly. Somehow it filled him with a sense of deja vu, as if when he saw you he was looking at a mere reflection of the person he used to be. Alongside that, a repeated history. The outsider and the chief's chosen child. Somehow under all of his turning a blind eye, you and Neteyam had not only become Jake and Neytiri but were being torn apart for it.

For a while, Jake stood in the corner of the room, Neytiri appearing after a while closing off the tent from any onlookers. The majority who would have been her own children. She stood next to Jake, her hand comfortingly finding a place on his shoulder.

They had watched as Mo'at closed her eyes and let the feelings of Eywa guide her. She took in many deep breaths as mumbled words escaped her mouth in the form of tongues. Then just as quickly as it had begun, her eyes were reopening, leaving her meeting with Eywa as Jake liked to call it. She glanced at the couple before her and spouted what he could only hear as bullshit. She’s very weak. 

“Well help her goddamn it!” 

“Jake!” Neytiri hissed as the tone of his voice emitted not only a glare on her face but a chip in her tone. 

From outside the tent, four dark statues lingered in the dark, near the side of the healing tent. Light poured out of the bottom bathing Kiri and Lo’ak’s faces in slivers of warm light. They lay on their fronts, chins leaning along their hands as they held their breaths, desperate to unravel what they were looking at. They could only see the outline of their grandmother, the Tsahik’s side from the confined view they had. With Spider and Tuk sitting on the other side of Lo'ak, the eight-year-old hugged her knees to her chest in a state of confusion. When her parents left, she had spent the whole time berating her older siblings with questions about you — were you okay? What had exactly happened? Were you coming back?

All questions with answers none of the older siblings had.

Neteyam crouched on the other side of Kiri, leaning his ear close to the side of the tent, trying to understand the mumblings from inside. His heart had shattered and he felt as if he had been cut open, exposing everything he was feeling to the gaping air. It made his stomach twist at the thought and he was starting to feel sick.

The sight of your avatar collapsing in his arms was still very present in his mind — as well as how his father had avoided him the second he returned forbidding anyone from seeing you, the other you. Your human body and the current body that held everything that made you, you. It was hard to imagine you any other way. For six straight months, he was memorizing every detail of your blue features just in case his golden irises would be deracinated from his face. Now all he could think about was what you really looked like, what you were born to look like.

Lo’ak leaned closer to his sister, voice breaking and coming out in low mumbles, “What did she say?” 

“Shh,” she hushed back, bumping her brother in the side, harsher than she intended too. 

“She’s weak, that’s what Mo’at is saying,” Neteyam spoke up softly, the words acting as needles as they ripped holes into his skin, “She doesn’t know if they can save her.” 

Kiri glanced up at Neteyam and felt her shoulders drop disappointedly as his expression came to light for her. How pain-stricken he was and how utterly shattered his voice sounded as it echoed in her ears. She felt Eywa there at that moment, filling her entire body, as she witnessed firsthand how strongly her brother felt for you. It had blinded him out of nowhere and a pit formed in his stomach at how sudden it all was. Over time, that dread and that fear had drifted off into the wind as if they had rolled off his back while flying through the sky.

Then there was you. How you had become a slight wreck over your feelings for the future Olo'eyktan. She could still feel your own confession lingering in the back of her mind. How shy you had gotten, how ashamed you had been when she had found out you liked Neteyam, possibly loved him.

Somehow under all of the excruciating lectures, stubborn-filled disputes, and contemptuous glares, two souls had found one another, deep within the forest under the phosphorescent green of the trees. 

She blinked and looked away, letting the prospect of the two of you fade away, leaving nothing but an imprint of dust in its wake. They all instead directed their attention back to the tent, ears twitching in unison and tails swishing anxiously as their father’s voice filled the air. 

“She’s dying, don’t you see that? One of our own is dying,” Jake pleaded then, his anger melted away like icicles in the warm temperature and all that was left was a puddle of desperation and fear. “So, please help her. Do the consciousness transfer. Do it, if it means the possibility of saving her life."

As Mo’at glanced down from your shivering human form to the empty blue vessel beside you, she knew what he was asking of her. He was right and it would have to be in Eywa’s hands now. The very hands you had tried to get yourself in weeks ago when you appeared in the doorway of her tent pleading and begging for her to consider. To think about your request, ask Eywa to guide you and herself to an answer. Tsahik, without much consideration or even listening to Eywa's plan or will, denied your request. Even when Jake Sully, Toruk Makto, had once come to her with the same request, and even when she saw so much of him in you, including a strong heart, she denied the request.

When Mo’at looked at you, she saw a young woman. A young woman with all the reasons and desires in the world to ask for this request and to ask for the opportunity to change her life. Your soul's existence depended on the opportunity to live life fully as a Na’vi, and That’s why Tsahik couldn’t accept it. Your whole life.

A young and prestigious life she didn’t want to be cut short not when there was still so much time. She feared that Eywa’s will wouldn’t be what was hoped by the rest of the clan, her family, so she denied you. For fear of taking the light out of your eyes as well as the light out of her grandchildren. 

“She’s weak so we must do it tonight. The more strength she has the better,” she finally spoke looking from Jake to her dutiful daughter, “Alert the village. We need everyone, do you understand? We need all the support we can for this. An hour and then we go.” 

The couple, the clan's leaders, the two everyone looked to in a crisis felt the weight on their shoulders deepen. Anxiety formed, pushing down on their tracheas as it all began to feel too real too fast. But panic couldn't happen. Freaking out couldn't happen. There wasn't enough time for it and there sure as hell wasn't room for it.

Jake took Neytiri’s hand in his and walked towards the entrance of the tent, all strength, and will of his own feelings lost. As they stepped out, the tent's flap falling shut behind them, a rush of air fell from his mouth. Neytiri, able to feel his energy deep within her bones, wrapped her arms around his broad torso. Her chin found a place against his shoulder and they stared forward at the rest of the village, the forest, their home, and everything in between. They listened to one another’s hearts and stood there for a brief moment, letting their breaths linger into one before Neytiri unwrapped herself around him. 

As she did, they both were startled by the sound of rustling as well as a soft groan of a very familiar prominent voice. They shared a look with one another, communicating the same conclusion as they stepped around the tent to where the sound had come from. It wasn't a surprise to find their four children squatted and laying around in the dirt, ears pressed close to the tent. Suddenly all their movements stopped as they felt the shadows looming over them, blocking the moonlight and concealing them in darkness.

All four heads then tilted cautiously and were met by the scariness of their mother, who stood with a hip popped out and arms crossed over her chest. Her stare only hardened further when she found her youngest, no more than eight years old, sitting there, a pained expression on the child's face. Neytiri looked over her shoulder at Jake but he merely shrugged as if he wasn't surprised at all by the sight in front of him. He held his arms to her; a silent signal that he was leaving the situation for her to handle.

Inhaling, her lips parted, ready to scold them not only for eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for their ears but for letting Tuk hear every word, something she could barely process at her age. Before Neytiri could get a word out, she found her youngest staring up at her, large eyes widened with fear and sadness, bottom lip quivering.

Tuk’s eyes filled with tears and slowly began to fall, drenching her innocent face, “Is Y/N going to be okay? What happened to her?” 

The other three older siblings’ bodies stiffened unwillingly, ears dropping back while their own theories and assumptions were formed. But even with their thoughts and concerns, they all found themselves peering up to their mother, who seemed to be all-knowing and often had the right thing to say in moments like this. It was a mother's intuition and they all stared at her, asking for an answer that was far better than any of their own. They all held their breath as they watched the glare melt away completely from her face while she opened her arms welcomingly for her youngest child. 

“Oh, my prrnen (baby),” Neytiri cooed as Tuk reached up to be pulled up into her mother's arms. As her small innocent face met her mother's neck, her tear bubbles collapsed, letting her salty tears fall freely upon Neytiri's skin. “Know this, that whatever happens, Y/N will be okay. She will be at peace one way or another. I don't know what's going to happen, but that is not something for us to worry about right now. Our Great Mother has a plan and whatever comes of it, everything will be okay. Do you understand me, maite (my daughter)?” 

Hands rubbing softly at Tuk’s back, her gaze fell to the rest of her children and their anxious eyes. They looked to her as if a mother could solve the world’s most significant problems and she wished at that moment she could. She wished she could take all of your pain, all of your sickness, all of the limitations your body held away. She wanted more than anything with her children’s eyes boring up at her that she could promise you life to prevent their suffering.

“The ritual is in an hour,” Jake said then, gaining the three older children’s attention as he tried to wrap his head around how he wanted to handle this situation. He couldn’t bear the idea of them being at the consciousness transfer and watching with the possibility that it wouldn't work. He couldn’t watch every hope and every fiber of light in their bodies fade away at the sight of what could be a final send-off. “Whatever you need to do, I suggest you do it now because there is a chance you won't be able to later.” 

“Can we see her?” Kiri asked then, sitting up to hug her knees to her chest, voice pleading, “Please? Can we just sit with her and talk to her. Dad, I can’t go the ritual without having said—” 

“Fine,” he interrupted her, his heart constricting with grief at the sound of his daughter’s broken voice, “Fine, yes, you can see her. But none of you will be at the ritual. Do you read me? I don’t want you attending the transfer.” 

In perfect sync all of their eyes widened in shock, ears pulling back in dejection as their father's command fell straight into their laps. Lo’ak sat up quickly, in complete disbelief, “But—” 

“No, but anything. I don’t want any of you there, do you understand?” 

That edge had returned in his voice and Jake took two seconds each to drill his gaze into his children, trying to make it stick within their minds, so that no matter how many times the thought appeared to go against his words, the remembrance of his stone cold glare would stop them. He couldn't be sure that it would work, especially as he caught the look on Lo'ak's face. It was the same look he gave whenever he was given orders or asked to do something against his own troublesome consciousness. It was passive, him nodding his head as if he was listening though he never took anything serious his father said. It was the same exact look Jake was getting then.

“Do — you — understand?” 

He spoke slower and finally got the response he wanted. All three of his older children nodded their heads while Lo’ak verbally respond with, “Yes, sir.” 

Neteyam could only stare up past Jake, huffing quietly. It was loud enough to catch his father’s attention anyway. Jake narrowed his gaze down at his oldest but the young warrior wouldn't falter. Instead, Neteyam matched him with the same expression.

No gunmetal would warp at that moment as Neteyam felt every inch of anger and frustration ball together. The order for them to stay away during the ceremony left him astonished and pissed off. His father still saw them as children and felt like he had this responsibility to protect them. But other than Tuk, none of them needed his protection. They had grown up and that was something he obviously couldn't accept.

Somehow it only filled Neteyam with more spite because there was nothing left that needed to be protected. Every innocence had been stolen and he couldn’t remember the last time he had been treated like a child, free of any responsibilities. For years he had been viewed and trained like a serviceman, kept on a shelf until he was needed. His whole life he had been ordered around; Go pick up an extra couple of hours of training. Watch over your brother. Learn how to use a gun. Take on extra challenges with other warriors. Heck, marry and mate with a woman of our choosing.

They had every part of him. They had taken every piece of him and he had willingly let them. For years he had been ordered around as if he was incapable of thinking for himself. In reality, they couldn't afford him to think and make decisions for themselves because it would go against what was best for the clan.

Some things never changed though. He stood just outside the healing tent, where the Tsahik was trying to save the only woman he has ever had feelings for, and he was expected to follow commands again. He was supposed to let them put him back on the shelf and wait for further instructions. Your life was hanging in the balance and they were asking him to be absent from the ritual that would decide what would happen. He couldn’t do that.

His hard-set gaze met Jake’s, refusing to back down. He watched then as the Toruk Makto dismissed him and instead sent one more look to each of his children. He nodded in the direction of the healing tent, “Go on.” 

One by one, they all stood silently and began to approach the tent, with dread being the only thing evidently strewn across their faces. Neytiri slowly set Tuk down, wiping what was left of her tears, that motherly smile occupying her face as she watched the rest of her children approach the tent. As Neteyam stepped by them though, the thought of you the only thing guiding him forward, Jake’s eyes found Neytiri’s. She hadn’t seemed to understand what he was trying to say, but she turned to give him her full attention anyway at the obnoxious way he cleared his throat. 

Her ears flickered curiously then as his stare frantically began to flicker back and from their oldest son to her. Lo’ak and Spider had stepped into the tent with Tuk waiting by the doorway, clearly contemplating if she wanted to go inside herself. Neytiri then found herself looking at Neteyam who was getting close to the entrance. She felt the thought kick in at what Jake was referring to or rather what you had asked of him. Him was the key term, but Neytiri felt her brows draw forward on her forehead in exasperation at his clear hesitation. The Toruk Makto had no problem lecturing his sons until their ears bled but being able to break the worst news and offer comfort to them might as well have been foreign, especially in their older years. He was terrified of it and Neytiri found it utterly ridiculous.

As Jake didn’t show any signs of calling out to Neteyam, she huffed out and shook her head at her husband, narrowing her gaze at him. The words very bad were communicated vexingly through her eye contact. She sighed then as she called out to Neteyam, “Maitan (my son)!”

Neteyam’s ears perked up at the sound of his mother’s voice and just as his hand grasped around the tent flap, so close to where you were, he pulled back to face her. She waved him over, and with frustration and confusion, he stepped away from the tent. Kiri, who was just about to enter, noticed the interaction of their mother pulling him aside and decided to wait, in favor of watching the conversation play out instead.

“What?” Neteyam questioned, the sharpness of his tongue not unnoticed.

Neytiri’s initial reaction was to smack him upside the head for it, but she held back knowing the sharpness was nothing but a reflection of how he was feeling. He wasn’t trying to be difficult or disrespectful. He just didn't have the energy or the care anymore to be any other way.

Neytir's gaze softened, the same one she had spared moments ago as she clutched her youngest in her arms. Neteyam noticed it right away, the look she was giving him. He would never admit it, but he knew his mother better than the rest of his siblings, and at the sight of her eyebrows drawing together softly, he felt his stomach drop. The lines between them displayed feelings of stress and disappointment. She wore it across her face — how badly she wished to offer him the moon and the stars. 

As her hand reached for his shoulder, that’s when he figured it out for sure. Why she had stopped him from entering, her shared looks with Jake, the way she was trying to steer him from the tent. It all made sense and a low growl took everyone by surprise as he peered over his shoulder at Kiri and the opening of the tent.

When he looked back at his mother, he felt his fists clench at his sides, “She doesn't want to see me. That's what you are going to tell me, aren't you? You pulled me aside because she told you she doesn't want to see me. ” 

“Yes,” Neytiri admitted slowly. 

A pin dropped and within a beat of time, as if only a second had passed, Neteyam resurfaced but angrier and more annoyed than before. He stepped back out of her grasp, and her hand was left dangling in the air as his tail whipped back and forth aggressively.

“No. Fuck that!"

“Neteyam!” she hissed, taking a hold of his arm and yanking him back despite his best efforts to escape her. He didn’t dare overpower his mother though or do anything that would disrespect her. Instead, he let her hold his arm too tightly, while her glare drilled holes into the side of his head.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish more than anything that it didn’t, but who would we be if we denied her wishes.” 

Her wishes. 

She spoke as if you were already dead and he felt himself tense under her words, his entire body becoming rigid. He closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to breathe through the pang in his chest. To calm himself down, he held his breath deep within his lungs for almost a minute before he released it. When he did, he felt the heartbreak creep up within his body until it was past his throat and on the tip of his tongue. Then he broke right in front of her.

“Her wishes? Do you even hear yourself right now, sa’nok (mother)? You're acting as if she has already died and is with Eywa. How can you just... No, damn her wishes because if there is a chance that I could lose her I am not going to stand out here and let her... I can’t just stand here and let her go into that ritual without telling her how I feel.” 

“It was not my choice, ma‘eveng (my child),” she whispered cooly, as Neteyam was starting to appear frantic.

The choice isn’t mine to bear.

He clenched his eyes shut again, suddenly stained with the memory of you standing within the mauve tendrils, beautiful face barring every raw emotion of your soul to him. Tears suspended in your eyes for a second as he felt every possible pain rip open in his chest, a pain so horrible it let his flaws and deceptions take over. He had hurt you right back and he knew just as everyone once would that he was no warrior. No perfect son. No perfect soldier. No man worth bearing the sins of the world. Your words crept back into his mind.

Then I will bear it. 

Neteyam, the way I feel about you is consuming.

“This is fucking bullshit!”

Just as Neytiri was going to comfort her son, try and offer any encouraging words she could, she felt his arm be pulled from her grasp. He was stepping away from her and her motherly gaze that was slowly suffocating him. He stared hard at his father as he passed him, sarcastically thanking him for all of his help in this whole thing, before stalking away in the opposite direction of the healing tent, his family, and you. 

They all watched him go and Kiri found herself stepping away from the tent in favor of going after her older brother. She nodded at her parents reassuringly, “I got it.” 

She took off in his direction, picking up her pace to catch up with him. As Jake and Neytiri watched them go, she huffed over at Jake, crossing her arms over her chest intently. That worried line in between her brows had formed again as her mind began to ramble with questions if what she was doing for her children and her people were right. Neteyam was the one she thought about long and hard, wondering if what they were doing was right. She felt like she had failed him or rather they all had failed him. As no one had ever made it easy on him from the moment he was born. There was not one sole point in time where they considered things from his point of view, his life, his future, or how once he had been full of childhood dreams. Instead, they just deemed them as improbable outcomes.

It was as if Jake could read her mind, all starting from that stressful line on her forehead between her brows. “He can’t be there. He will never forgive himself if he watches her….” 

“And he’ll never forgive us if she somehow dies and we never let him say goodbye.” 

Kiri chased after her brother, letting her parents' voices fade behind her. Her eyes narrowed at him as he walked in front of her or rather stomped in front of her. His braids swung from side to side, his back muscles tense and rigid. She could see every twitch of annoyance and frustration in his form, displayed on his back like any true man would — never demonstrating it out loud or through words but rather through body language.

Picking up her steps, she called out to him but he ignored her as he made it through the village. He was making a move for the forest, but Kiri knew that if he did disappear into the lush greenery, who knew when he would be back. There wasn't time for it.

“Neteyam, stop!” she finally yelled, firmly grabbing onto his elbow and yanking him back. 

He hissed at the way her nails dug into the skin of his forearm and let his feet come to a stop. Staring forward at the forest, his means of escape, a loud sigh fell from his lips. Unable to push the pain off his face, he refused to look at her, and instead tilted his head to the side, his broken gaze falling to the ground.

“What? What do you want?” 

“You can’t just storm off like this,” Kiri admitted, slightly out of breath from chasing after him, “Not right now and not like this. We need to stick together when something like this happens, so you can't just leave. Because believe it or not, everyone looks to you as much as they look to Dad during a crisis. Your presence is important, now more than ever. That, and I don't think you should be alone.” 

Scoffing he shook his head, denying her admission. More so, he wouldn’t stand there and let her give him that same pitying stare his mother couldn’t wipe from her face. “The fact that you would use my future title against me right now, are you serious? Tell, me Kiri other than that the people need me why I should stay. Y/N doesn’t want to see me, so what’s the point?” 

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Kiri’s hand fell from around him, suddenly feeling angered by his words and his tone as if he was brushing you off like it was the only thing he could do when around other people, “I mean what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t even admit that you have feelings for her, can you? Seriously? Nothing, at all? Neteyam, she could die, she could not survive this transfer and you still can’t fucking say it out loud.” 

His shoulders dropped, her voice cutting through him like a knife cuts through flesh, with resistance but then giving away. The more things she said, the easier it was to get through to him past the bullshit and the fear. Exhaling, he finally turned around to face her, his little sister, and felt his words get caught at the sight of how sad she appeared. Her eyes displayed every form of grief and anger, and it was all pointed straight at him. 

“I can't,” he responded, his confession wearing her tight expression away, “If I say it, it will become real. Everything these past six months will be right there in front of me. Every night spent together, every argument about her training, every reaction, and feeling she brought out of me. Except if I admit my feelings for her, it would also mean that I have to admit that I am losing her. I will be admitting that she is sick and dying, and I can’t accept that Kiri. I can’t..” 

Kiri stared up at her brother, eyes wide and wallowing in unshed tears as every friction and pause in his voice spoke to everything he was saying. He was barring a part of himself to her at that moment which he had never done before. He was looking past the perfection that was expected of him and let his insecurities ring out in the air and while it was killing him to his very core, a part of him felt relief. 

“Kiri, she’s not mine. She never was and I didn't have the thought to even ask. We could never be together so why even say anything to her, but I guess now, it doesn't even fucking matter, does it? All that duty and expectations bullshit means nothing because she is slipping away right in front of us. And now that I realize that, she doesn't even want to fucking see me."

She sighed, one that was brought out from deep within, as she took a hold of his arm again. This time gently almost like if she pressed any harder, he would break. Or he would get scared, sink back into his shell, and close himself off from the rest of the world.

“Neteyam—”

“What is that?” he shouted, pupils dilated and crazed as his eyes became drenched in tears, he wished would never fall. 

“Neteyam, please,” Kiri cried then, gripping his arm harder to get his gold eyes to lock with hers, to get him to calm down as his breathing was erratic pulling and prodding at his chest as if he were trying to self-destruct right before her eyes. “You need to try and understand what she is asking of you.” 

“I won't do this. I have to see her.” 

She shushed him then, his cries falling silent upon his tongue, “Brother, you have never seen her like this, do you understand that? For six months, you have only seen Y/N in her avatar body and as one of us. You have never seen her in this true form, in her human body.” 

“I don’t care about that, Kiri, you know that,” he replied, brows drawing down on his face as he tucked his bottom lip in between his front teeth. 

“Okay, but she’s also sick, very sick, and I can’t imagine that the last time she'd want you to see her would be like this. Not as this weak, shell of a person she doesn’t even recognize as herself anymore,” Kiri explained carefully, her tears starting to fall without her even realizing as she gripped harder onto Neteyam, “It sounds like she knows what could happen, what’s at risk here. It’s not that she doesn’t want to see you. It’s that, she would rather have the last time you saw her be from earlier. She’d be okay with the fact it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body because it would mean you would remember her that way, at that moment.”

Her words had struck him in the chest harder than any blow he had ever gotten in his entire life. It was worse than when he had collided with one of the floating mountains on his first Ikran ride, or the time when he had gotten the shit beat out of him early on his training days. It was even worse than when Lo’ak had beat the shit out of him hours ago. In fact, it felt as if it was worse than all of those things combined.

She’d be okay with the fact that it was in the forest, in your arms, and in her avatar body.

Neteyam bit down on his lower lip, reopening the wound that Lo’ak had put there earlier as every single word of that one sentence made him recoil. If the last time he saw you, talked to you, was in front of that tree screaming at you as you finally told him how you felt. The way I feel about you is consuming. No, it couldn't be. That would be complete and utter bullshit. He sure as hell wouldn’t stand by and let the last time you saw him be there, under that tree not only rejecting your heart but his own feelings. 

Neteyam had been selfless his whole life until it had come to you and he wasn’t about to return to the person he was before you, refusing to listen to his own feelings and what he wanted. At that moment he was choosing to be selfish, to choose himself and to choose you over some last dying wish. He knew it was wrong, so wrong, but it didn’t stop him from stalking the healing tent for the next half hour, watching as each person came and went. His bottom lip at that point was rebleeding and torn to shreds but he needed something, some sort of distraction from the fears that were starting to take over his body.

There were fifteen minutes until you were going to be transported to the site and another fifteen before the ritual would start. Neteyam watched from afar he as Mo’at walked out of the tent, her hands full and her gaze seemingly distracted. She disappeared far into the village and Neteyam snuck out from around the side of the tent he had been standing for nearly a half hour. Having the darkness to disappear into, he slipped into the tent unnoticed. With no one following him, he close the front lapels of the tent and turned slowly on his heels.

He felt his entire body freeze, hands clenching at his sides while his breathing suddenly sped up. Dim lanterns encased the room, emitting a soft glow and he felt all sanity escape him at the sight of the avatar body that had been in his grasp only two hours before. The only you he had ever known. It looked so cold without your animated expressions, that familiar pinched line in between your eyebrows, or the tiny divots of your dimples that appeared when you smiled. It was you and had been the you he had given himself to completely but at that moment it wasn’t you at all. Its eyes were closed and already having been prepared for the ritual, the body was wrapped up in blankets to be transferred.

His eyes then took in the much smaller form laid a few feet away from it, all bundled up, chest rising and falling with each deep breath that was inhaled. He cautiously walked forward and as the soft glow brushed along his face, he felt as if his body was at a standstill, all air pulled from his lungs.

Completely unmoving, he finally saw you for the first time — the real you and his entire world was shifted on its axis. You were all soft lashes, smooth skin, and glistening full lips. With your eyes fluttered shut, he wondered what color your they were, the opening of your soul. He wanted you to open them. He wanted to see if they matched the ones he had been staring into for six months. Other than that, the slope of your nose was smaller and your eyebrows were different, more prominent, and the markings on your skin were completely dissimilar to the ivory specks he was so used to admiring.

Somehow though, even with an entirely different person in front of him, you were entirely familiar — all of his favorite parts of you were the same, and just as you had looked earlier that night underneath the mauve tree, there in that tent and in that body, you were ethereal. And you were his even not officially, you were. Ma’ Y/N.

Tears once again resurfaced after the countless times he had reeled them back in that day. Slowly, he sunk down onto his knees beside you and listened to the way you breathed, trying to memorize the sound of it for as long as he could. Glancing down to your side, he found his eyes flickering with interest at the sight of your hand, limp across the blanket. Five fingers, smaller than his own, just as your other always had been. Staring down at it, he couldn’t help himself and before he realized it, he was reaching for it. Engulfing your smaller one in his, he watched as it slipped into his with ease as if it was meant to be there. He felt a type of warmth fill his chest then as your hand twitched in his. 

Tilting his head, he looked back up to your face and found himself taken aback at the sight of two small doe-eyes peering up at him. They were so elegant and nothing like he had expected but somehow he would commit them to his memory then and there. They scanned over his face like it was the first time you’d ever seen him and he felt his heart rate speed up when they had narrowed slightly. Your brows knitted together to bring back that pinched look he had just been reminiscing about seconds before.

The sight of you staring at him felt almost scrutinizing and based on that furrow in your brow and the slight frown that occupied your glistening and completely temptatious lips, this was without a doubt you. He knew then that it didn’t matter which body you were in, which form whether human or avatar, it would always feel like this. With you, he would always feel this. 

“Hm, so this is you. Well it's nice to finally meet you, Y/N Y/L/N, all of you," he said suddenly, voice low and so soft it comforted you in more ways than one.

A few moments ago when you had felt a sudden pressure on your hand and the warmth of calloused skin, you couldn’t help but stir from the sleep that had suddenly overtaken you. You didn’t know who to expect when you opened your eyes, but it definitely wasn’t Neteyam. You never thought it could be but as you looked up and adjusted to the light, sure enough, it was.

He was there, staring down at you just as clearly as he had been in the forest among the mauve tendrils of the Tree of Souls. At first, you couldn’t deny how the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours resembled a hug and all the consolation in the world you needed. However, despite the affectionate look about him you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing there. How he could have been there when you deliberately had said he wasn't allowed to be. You didn’t want him to see you like this and definitely didn't ask for him to come and see all your insecurities looming over you just before the consciousness transfer.

That was when the annoyance set in, evidently by the furrowing together of your eyebrows and the downward curve of your lips. You stared up at him, not knowing if you even had it in you to speak to him. He chuckled out, hand squeezing yours, feeling as if you had captivated him completely at that moment.

“Look, I can tell by the way you're staring at me right now, that you're angry I'm here."

Your lips parted as if you were going to reply, and you watched as Neteyam leaned closer as if he needed to hear your voice. The reassurance that it was still you in front of him, the same person. But as you inhaled, he could feel the way you were struggling to even do that, breath.

"Nete— "

His hand squeezed yours again, reassuringly, his unshed tears were so clear to you then, like uncut glass in the soft lighting from the lanterns. “No, don't. Don't say anything. You have already said everything you needed to. You had your chance, now it's my turn. It’s my turn to talk.” 

With his eyes earnestly staring down into yours, you exhaled the breath you were holding and let your chest relax, parted lips closing with ease. You nodded then, letting the pinched look leave your face as if you were alleviating his anxiety with it. It was his turn then to breathe, his words jumbled across his tongue, adding weight to his mouth as he couldn’t dare look away from you. Finally, as you offered him an encouraging smile, he felt all of that weight be lifted off. 

“Look, I know you didn’t want me here not like this and especially not now, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave things the way they were. I wouldn’t do that to us, Y/N, because you deserve more than that,” he said, stumbling slightly while completely worried that everything was coming out wrong. But based on how it felt so right in his chest and the tears gathering in your eyes, he knew it was more than enough. "I don't know what's going to happen but I do know that you deserve more finality than that because you're everything. How you make me feel is everything and I just needed you to know that.”

His eyes were soft, looking at you as if it really were true, that you were everything. That you were the entire world, his entire world. Fully in that tiny spindle of time, it was like he was finally unveiling his entire self to you — every piece, sliver, and makeup of who he was was reflected in his eyes. No more walls, no more guarding or holding it all inside. There at that moment, it was the real Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan staring back at you. 

Curling your lips into a small smile, not enough to show your teeth, you could taste the tears that were slipping down from the inner corners of your eyes, finding a place within your smile line. With batted breath, you watched his eyes trace them to only find yours again. Relief filled him at that moment at the sight of them streaming down your face because they weren’t a sign of heartache, grief, or mortification of the situation. Most importantly they weren’t a reflection of fear or doubt about what was to come — it was as if you were completely content in your point in life right there with his hand wrapped around yours. No, what was inevitably laced within those pretty tears of yours was a complete abundance of love.

Neteyam felt as if that look had reached past his chest, taken the pieces of his heart graciously and purposefully, took them, and then, with the warmest touch, put them back together again. It was like Eywa’s plan for him wasn’t to become his father’s soldier or to save the Omatikaya from the invading enemies. His will, his purpose was to be here with you, like this. 

Leaning forward, you felt his palm connect with the side of your face, cupping your cheek like he had wanted to do so many times before. His thumb brushed along the glass of the oxygen mask and you couldn’t help but close your eyes and release more tears. Reaching up, your small hand circled around his wrist and held it there, able to feel his pulse under your fingertips. His eyes flickered to the touch before they found yours again and he suddenly couldn’t help himself any longer, not when he was finally able to see everything so clearly. 

He cleared his throat, voice overcome by emotions as a single tear of his own slipped from the corner of his eye and down into his upper lip. It was the first tear he can even remember touching his cheek in years — a tear that had and always been promised for you.

“I see you.” 

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise while the breath you had taken in felt like it had gotten lodged in your throat. More tears escaped from yours but your smile didn’t falter, not for one second, and you knew if that was the last thing you ever heard, you’d be happy. If it happened right there in his arms you could be okay with that because his words had somehow sanctified your soul. Sounding different, sounding so much more than when he had said it earlier that morning willed every bad thing away. In fact, it was everything, he was everything. 

You squeezed his wrist in your hand as you stared up at him, eyes gleaming like it was the first and last time they ever would, “I see you.” 

It was iridescent, the only way to utterly describe the sight. Mauve tendrils of neon light bathing skin in light as the forest's phosphorescent green pulsed beneath the people's bodies and feet. Pulsing to the heartbeat of their Great Mother. Pulsing in sync with their swaying bodies and stifled groans. It all reached deeply within their bones; her and her power. They cried to her, prayers and pleas kissing their tongues as the bioluminescence of the ground was prominent where their queues were connected.

Before Mo’at within the tendrils and the night sky, the atokirina was coated in white and floated in the air above in swarms. Thereupon the pulsing ground of the tree with bulging roots, two bodies lay wrapped within the confines of Eywa. The neon green phosphorescence rectifying as the Mother accepted the two bodies on her beloved soil. Evidently how the small fingerlike tresses of the ground lifted and wrapped around each body, grounding them completely. The same tresses that connected each person there to the entity of Eywa. 

“The Great Mother may choose to save all that she is in this body,” Mo’at spoke, watching the tresses grow across the avatar’s body eventually pulling the queue further into the ground creating a direct neural link to the back of your human neck. 

Eyes fluttered to a close, and you were finally relaxed, instead listening to the sound of your slowing heart. Norm stood in his avatar form near your human body with Neytiri as Jake sat on the other side next to the form they all hoped you would wake up in. His fingers brushed the strays hair out of its face and glanced over at your human body, taking note of the gentle rise and fall of your chest. He shared a look with Neytiri, a shared look of worry as both of Mo’at’s earlier words hung in their heads. She is very weak. It only brought flashbacks of Grace and filled him with the worst dread. That feeling was only exemplified when the ritual began. 

Everyone bathed in the green light, connected arms, all being interlinked as one with Eywa were able to feel her as well as each other. They slowly listened to Mo’at’s words chanting out in the air and repeated them in synchronism back at her, eyes closed focusing on the feeling channeling within one another.

“Ting mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa’nok (Hear us please, Great Mother).” 

Mo’at raised her arms high into the air, “Srung si poeru, ma Ewya (Eywa, help her).” 

“Pori tireati, munge mì nga (Take this spirit into you),” the crowd chanted back rolling their necks and their shoulders as one back and forth. 

No matter how many times Norm and Jake had witnessed the ritual, it still left them too stunned to speak; the overwhelming sensation of the voices in unison, the connection of the neurons through the ground, and the overriding presence of Eywa. It all was so much to process even more so while trying to pray to Eywa herself. To ask for forgiveness, for mercy, for her to return you even when you were weak and sick. Ask and beg that she give this one thing to all of those that loved you.

The phosphorescent green reflected back in his eyes as he glanced down from you to your human body now completely covered by tresses leaving barely any sliver of real skin showing. Mystified he watched as the atokirinas floated down from the sky and with the lightest touch surrounded your avatar body — the purest souls watching over you and serving as a positive sign of what he wished to believe.

Finally after what felt like hours of chanting and praying, and looking into the sky for Eywa, Jake felt his attention shoot up to Mo’at. He watched as she spun in circles, arms flailing in the air, eyes rolled to the back of her head, repeating the Great Mother’s name in constant tongues. She could feel her and she could hear her. He was focused then as Mo’at’s voice grew silent out of nowhere like a switch had been flipped. Her eyes returned to normal, her arms dropped to her sides, and her voice fell quiet.

Glancing down at the two bodies before her, she raised her hand to the rest of the people, her voice loud and commanding, “Lu hasey! (It is finished).”

The crowd became silent and all as one found themselves holding their breaths as Mo’at bent down examining your human body closely, her hands raised over your face. Jake held his too as Neytiri stepped forward, hands dropping to the mask around your face. With the uttermost delicacy, she reached forward and pulled it up and off, the sound from releasing the compaction was a gust of air. She laid it down on the ground next to your body as her eyes swept across your beautiful young face, relaxed, gone of any pain.

Her large hand cupped your face; like a mother, she leaned down and connected her soft lips to your forehead, right above your eyebrow. A maternal comfort you had never known or experienced, something Jake had mentioned often to her over the last half year. She let her lips linger a little longer, channeling all of her affection and devotion for you, offering it to Eywa. 

Leaning back her eyes opened again and her hand left your face with one final touch. She looked up to meet her husband's eyes and Jake felt the anxiety worsen in his stomach as she offered him an ensuring nod. He took a deep breath and looked down at the young avatar before him. He leaned over it, tracing every point of its face with his eyes, her ivory-kissed skin, and long eyelashes.

It was the same face of the young woman Jake had had the pleasure of knowing over the last six months. It was the young woman, he felt had become a part of his family. The face of the woman who had captured the attention of his children and left them astounded after seven years of knowing you. He looked down and saw the face of the woman who had managed to get his eldest son to fall in love. It was the face of you, the young girl who had been entirely and always enraptured by this planet and this world — a woman who was always meant to become a part of the Na’vi. 

His fingertips ghosted over your cheeks, the lightest of touches as the atokirinas could be seen all around you. Waiting and waiting, he felt his breath and hope leave him all at once as seconds passed and then a minute. He felt the time frame leaving, falling to a close, and his heart sunk into his stomach. Glancing up at Mo’at expectantly, disappointed, she urged him back down to you with a simple nod, asking him to wait a second longer.

Live or die?

One of us? Or one of them?

Letting his head tilt back down to you, Jake held his breath, his pointer finger brushing against the skin right below your eyebrow, delicately. His gaze zoned in on yours so seriously, he felt his throat well up waiting, begging Eywa. Just as his pinky pressed along your skin, the pair of eyes popped open, coating his sight in yellow and gold, flickered with specks of the lightest green he had ever seen.

one of us taglist is not working the best right now and I have over the limit of people asking to be tagged (it says it's fifty) so, for now, I am just not going to have a taglist because I can't tag everyone and it's taking a lot of work to figure out.

[marymary-diva17]

The daughter of two worlds

another crossposted story of mines with some edits made to it, I hope you all will enjoy this story.

Over the time of being together neteyam and Ao’nung had fallen in love with each other. They had kept their relationship under wraps, as they wish to see if they love they have for each other is true. Soon enough the relationship couldn’t stay the same anymore, as everyone soon found out. The relationship had been welcome with open arms and support until, it all came crashing down.

Ronal "this baby has demon blood in her eywa has turned her back on us" A child had been born from the union of aonung and neteyam, the day of the brith of child had started off as celebration for all of the clans until the celebration had done. When the child had been seen and when they saw her it was clear she was a child of two worlds or multiple. She didn't look like all the other navi she had inherited both features from her fathers and also human DNA.

Tonowari " what are we going to do about this the clans will talk, when they see her" neteyam held his newborn daughter close to his chest looking happily, down on her as to him she was perfect.

Ao'nung " ......" 

Jake " we should all clam down she our granddaughter an innocent child she means us now harm" Jake had spoken up hoping to come down the worry and dear that was being rising right now.

Ronal " she a demonblood like the other she a curse upon on family and the clan"

Neytiri " you will not speak to my granddaughter like that she is of the Omaticaya and Metkayina now" neytiri had gotten mad and soon went towards ronal, she was ready for a fight.

Ronal " she will never be one of us we are leaving now"

tonowari " yes it will be best if you family leaves the clan and many others, will not accept this child ... we have to do what best for our family and clan ... we can't have anymore of the sky demons roaming in our clan" Ronal and Tonowari had said enough as they started walking out of the sully family home, not daring to look back at the granddaughter they pushed away.

Neteyam " ma nung" 

lo'ak " dude you can come with us and so can tisreya and rotox, we can help you adapt to the forest"

neteyam " ma yawne our daughter will need us both she a child of sea and forest .... look at our beautiful daughter she so perfect" neteyam had shown aonung their new daughter with happiness and hope on his face, as he is praying that aonung will hold their child and love her like any father will.

Ao'nung " i'm sorry but I have to leave Neteyam this relationship was doomed from the start we shouldn't of kept it going" 

Neteyam " Ao'nung please she your daughter ... she our daughter we love her right" 

Ao'nung " she nothing to me ... I have to think about the clan reparation here and with the others, having a kid with demon blood will make us seem like we side with the sky demons" 

Lo'ak " I wont allow you to speak about my niece like that when I'm here Ao'nung you broke your promise to me" lo'ak had grabbed onto aonung necklace and que she was beyond mad, right now towards her once former friend and brother in law.

Ao'nung " i'm sorry but as everyone else will know I don't have a daughter or mate ... tsireya and rotxo will not be leaving here I'm sure of that ... now leave when you are healed " Ao'nung soon got up and walked away not looking back at his daughter or his former mate. Neteyam had fallen into tears and panic. 

Kiri " hush brother we are here for you we will always be here for you" 

Jake " you will be coming home with us once you and our newest members are heal and well" 

Neteyam " yes dad" 

Tuk " what are we going to name her or is that to soon" 

Neteyam” her name will be y/n" 

Jake " well welcome to the family y/n sully" the sully family had left a few days later not only did Neteyam relationships end badly so did lo'ak and kiri relationship as well with tsyeria and rotxo. It seems like the relationship between ocean clans and the other clans had become broken as well. 

many days later

Jake " y/n" Jake had held his granddaughter in the air as the sun light shined on her in front of the clan and all the other clans as well.

everyone " y/n" everyone had chanted the name as well as the baby girl laugh and reached for the sun, and anything else in her area. She had brought smile to her family and clan.

Jake " now she is our special girl"

neteyam " yes she is"

neytiri " are you sure you don't wish to live at home with us we can make it bigger, you and y/n can have your own room"

neteyam " mother we will be okay and we will not be that far from home, you all can stop by to see y/n and help me with her"

tuk " we will love that"

mo'at " my grandson the great mother has blessed you with a wonderful daughter, and our family as well the child of two worlds or many"

Neteyam " yes she is special"

lo'ak " to bad no one else in from the village could see that"

kiri " lo'ak"

spider " dude not the time or place"

lo'ak " I'm sorry neteyam but it makes me mad for how the treated her"

neteyam " it okay I understand"

Tsu’tey " she perfect and will be perfect addition to the clan"

norm " yes she will Neteyam I and the scientist have gather up from stuff for baby y/n, as she will need it like everyone else"

neteyam " thank you" neteyam had smiled at her daughter and kissed her forehead, even due the past days had been sorrowful not it had become happy.

That night

neteyam " you my daughter are special to me no matter what others had to say, I will teach you all that is need to know ad you might teach me as well" neteyam had seen his daughter laugh and smile towards him, as wood spirt had come by them and landed on her norse.

neteyam " it seems like the great mother has already accepted you from day one my beautiful daughter my beautiful y/n" neteyam had made a promise to be the best father he could be to his daughter, but also be there for his family and clan. They will be there for him as well, but he knew he will not let anyone do anything to destroy this happiness he has right now.

[lina-lovebug]

Bleeding Hearts

This will be a long fanfic series. I have the same one on my Wattpad @ autogirls. Hope you all enjoy!

Nanat'ia (original character) x Miles Quaritch

_

"He is beautiful, Neytiri."

I had never thought I would see my sister so happy. She was glowing with pure love and happiness as she stared down at her newborn son, her hand wrapped in mine.

"I'm so happy for you," I pressed my forehead against hers, expressing my joy for her family.

When the sky people were sent away, I could feel a new era approaching. I prayed to Eywa for peace for my people since they had endured so much.

And for my new era of peace, I had put down my weapons and rested my mind. I did not want to bring any negative thoughts or feelings that I had held before. The sky people are gone, and so what was the need for me to continue making weapons? Not the bows my sister had crafted, but knives. Sharp daggers that were made for swiftly killing the enemy - ones I had started to forge when I was eight.

"Neytiri! Neytiri, I just thought of a great name!" Jake burst through the hut, excitement in his eyes as he had completely forgotten that I was here.

"What name have you been thinking of this time, Jake?" When I had discovered what name he had given his Ikran, I could not fathom it. He is Taruk Makto, the greatest earrior of our time, and such a great Na'vi warrior had named his Ikran Bob.

"Something very fitting, Nanat," He insisted, knowing my harsh judgment, but it was all fun and games with us.

"Tell me, my Jake," Neytiris' nerves were calm since having him, only focusing on their son so her mood was lighter than usual.

"Steve!"

Utter silence.

My sisters hand tightened around my own, trying to restrain herself from smacking him in the face.

"You are willing to name the future clan leader of the Omaticaya, Steve?" I questioned, my head tilted slightly. He saw the dangerous look in my sisters eye and immediately backed down from the idea.

"Or-or not, I mean, it's not that great," He stuttered out.

Names on Earth always sounded so weird. Steve? Bob? And thousands of Earth children share the same name. When I think of it, it often makes me sad for them because it means their parents did not think about their own name. There is no meaning - no beauty to their names.

"I have thought of one," Sister spoke up, gently caressing his head as he suckled on her for food.

"Neteyam. I think it suits him well," Neytiri smiled down at him, and I could see the spark in Jakes eyes. Jake looked down at his child, and it looked like that baby boy was his entire reason for living.

"Neteyam. . .it's perfect," Jake concluded, and I decided to take my leave.

The love between Neytiri and Jake was one to be admired and sought after. I had never seen such a connection before, even when she was promised to Tsu'tey. Even when she had expressed her disdain and annoyance for training him when he first arrived, it was like Eywa had already decided that they would have the strongest mate bond.

Neytiri would die for Jake, and Jake would die for Neytiri.

A love I wished for.

But it was not my time.

I believe that when the time comes, Eywa will bring my future mate to me. Perhaps he will be a thorn in my side, or my best friend - whatever comes, I put all my trust in Eywa that they will be the best for me.

"Ninat'ia."

I turned my head, "Mother?"

"Come here, child. What have they named him?" She is so excited to be a grandmother. Ever since the news broke that Neytiri and Jake were expecting their first child, she has been praying and watching Neytiri like Ikran.

"You will find out at the ceremony," I replied, and she hissed in frustration.

"Should you not be preparing the clan to receive his name?" I questioned my mother as she walked along with me.

"I wished to ask something of you, my child," She hooked her arm with mine, her thumb gently stroking my arm in comfort.

Meaning it was bad news.

"Remember how I told you I found you in the forest as a baby?"

"How could I forget? You told the story every year on my birthday," I wasn't hers - biologically. In my mother's grief, she secluded herself to the forest and found me. Her grieving was that she had lost her child giving birth, the cord having killed the baby before the air could reach them. So, she went to the forest seeking solitude.

Instead, she found me. As she told me, I was crying and just on the ground - seemingly abandoned. No one was around, and I was unharmed.

"I went to the Mother Tree to pray, but it was not the answer that I wished Eywa gave me," She said, worry in her eyes.

"What was it?"

She sighed, "it was a vision. I was watching through another's eyes in a strange place. A loud sound was going off, and humans were running all around me. I tried to fight my way into a room, but the others pushed me away. Afterward, I fell to my knees as the loud sound fell silent, and all I could feel was grief."

"Was this on Earth?" I had never seen it, only heard stories from the nicer sky people - like Grace.

"It is nothing like I have ever seen."

"But why come to me with this, mother? You are Tsahik - I do not know what this means," I expressed, and she stopped in her tracks.

"Mother?"

"I heard a man crying out a name. . .my child, he was screaming for you."

[sivyera]

stolen bride pt. 2

avatar 2 neytiri te tskaha mo'at'ite x fem!metkayina!reader

warnings: age gap, maybe emotional?? a/n: this is more from neytiri's pov, i think

pt. 1 , pt. 3 here

༺☆༻

After Neytiri realized that you really swam away she went back to her marui. She didn't slept whole night, she was only thinking about one thing. You.

She knew this was forbidden but she would lie if she'd said that she wasn't watching you from afar or that she didn't find you and your soul beautiful. You were also creative and kind to others which she noticed when you played with Tuk one time.

The omaticaya girl fell in love with you instantly. You become her idol when you showed her few skills you could do on your ilu and when you made her a beautiful knife pocket from shells, because she's a brave soul and future warrior!

That's when Neytiri realized your creativity.

She also discovered your kind soul when you stood up for Kiri and scolded your younger brother, Ao'nung, for his behaviour towards her.

She shifted in her position while having her eyes open. It was just pure chaos inside her head, her thoughts were everywhere. She once again knew this was forbidden but she felt something towards you, some spark she never felt with Jake, something that was missing long long time ago, even before Jake.

It was like her other half was found...

You came back after few hours and both of you acted like nothing happened. Then three days passed from the "marriage talk" between you and Neytiri. Also between your father, Tonowari, and her eldest son, Neteyam. But nothing happened between Tonowari and Neteyam. Also they didn't know what happened between Neytiri and you, it was a secret for now.

But Neytiri's head was filled with you. Morning, noon and night she was thinking about you, she was even starting to dream about you! It was getting pretty clear that she needs you, her hearts needs you.

She was scared from the start tho, so the only thing she did for these passed three days was watching you from afar. She watched you every morning on the beach when you went to pet your ilu, she watched you every noon spend few hours with your mother, learning how to become a tsahik or just picking some sea flowers with her. She watched you when you played with Tuk and swimming with Kiri.

But every time she saw you talking to Neteyam, it made her frown and feel weird. Don't get me wrong she loves her first born son dearly but she didn't like him near you. It couldn't be jealousy, could it??

Even if it was she couldn't control her heart needs. She just couldn't. I was impossible.

This day, she had enough. When it got dark outside and everyone went to sleep, she sneaked out of her marui and went to yours. And here she is, standing in front of your marui, looking at you while you were brushing your hair with a hairbrush Kiri gave you.

She sighed and starting walking closer, and without realizing, she spoke. "I see you." She said calmly yet firmly so you can know she means it.

You froze when you heard her. You thought you were hallucinating... was this real? Did you just heard Neytiri saying 'i see you' behind you to you? You slowly turned to look behind you and she was really there. She was looking at you with a small yet warm smile on her face. She looked so at peace.

"...say that again... please." You almost whispered.

Neytiri smiled a bit more and started walking towards you, slowly. As you saw her getting closer, you stood up, but you still had to look up at her because she was taller then you.

She gently cupped your face into her palms and repeated herself as you wished. "I see you." She said and then placed her lips on yours.

Your eyes closed and your hands went around her neck. Then her hands moved down your chest to your waist as she deepened the kiss. After few extra seconds you broke the kiss to gasp for air.

She was watching you with a warm smile on her face while her tail swung.

"I see you too." You said back as you gave her a quick peck on the lips.

This made her giggle, she then placed her forehead on yours and sighed. "You know this is forbidden and we cannot stay together here, right?" She said.

Now it was your time to sigh. You knew all this but you wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted to be with you. You were each other halfs, now, when you found each other, it was impossible to stay away...

"I know... what should we do?" You asked worried.

But to your surprise Neytiri smiled, almost giggled. You frowned and tilted your head because you didn't understand, which made her giggle even more. She then kissed your forehead and answered your question with a smile. "We will run away."

This almost made you faint! Was she serious? She definitely looked like it. You expected everything but this!? This would never even cross your mind, maybe in a dream..

She noticed how you got a paler which made her put her 'mother face' out. "Hey, I was thinking about it and... you are already old enough to marry so why not run away with me? And.. even tho I will miss my kids, I know they will understand... Kiri will for sure..." She said calmly with a smile as she was stroking your cheek with her palm.

You still couldn't believe it but she said it so nicely with so much love in her eyes, that it made you smile and relax into her arms.

Then Neytiri let you go while she took your hand and went to your hammock. She layed down with you on top of her with your face hidden in her neck while her arms wrapped around your waist.

"Don't worry about it now ma y/n, rest, we can talk about it in the morning and we also have a long trip in front of us." Neytiri said as she kissed your forehead.

"Good night, sevin" She said as her own eyes closed.

You smiled. "Good night, Neytiri." You said as you kissed her neck while your own eyes closed as well.

Neytiri finally fell asleep that night, with a smile. She felt so at peace, so whole, so loved, so warm. It was like heaven and she never wanted it to end.

[fl3shm4id3n]

𝓣𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓼

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐚 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜʟʟʏ ᴋɪᴅ�� x ꜰᴇᴍ! ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ! (ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ), ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴇᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ɴᴀ'ᴠɪ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

TW: Mentions of past war, mentions of death, tattooing, the Sully kids being Goofy, flirting.

Author's note: Since I am learning how to Tattoo, I kinda wanted to do a fic with a tattoo artist reader. I made up a name for that background character from the na'vi camp scene, he is so fine to me.

Masterlist

You were no scientist, nor in a military rank, you're a tattoo artist. You had got the job of a lifetime by going to Pandora and tattoo some soldiers and others who had wanted some ink on their skin. During your time, you were given your own studio to work and people would come in for a tat. You had tattooed all sorts of skin, both human and na'vi avatar skin.

That time you had met Jake, Grace, Norm, Trudy and Max, they were nice and cool people to around with. When you had no work, you'd be hanging out with them, you and Trudy were buddy buddy with one another, when she'd go to your studio to hang out and gossip, she told you about her relationship with Norm, it was somewhat obvious because of the way they looked at one another.

Everything should of been fine realization had hit everyone involved in this mission. A war had broken out, you really had nothing to do with the mission, but you did not agree with what they were doing to the na'vi, you witnessed when the military had destroyed the Omaticaya's home. Seen the people get hurt, fleeing was awful, what hurt you the most was the children and babies that were in the chaos, it broke your heart and you just like some you had yelled your superior's that they could not do that. They did not listen.

You had helped Trudy get Norm, Grace, and Jake out of the compound, you decided to stay behind with Max so that others didn't suspect. It hurt when you found out about Grace's passing, but you knew that she was at peace, better here then back on earth. During the war, you had been in your studio, praying to whatever deity to keep your friends safe, you weren't a religious person, but you really wished that your friends and the na'vi people won.

They did, but of course war did not have happy endings, Trudy had died, along with a few other na'vis, but they died honorably, like true soldiers. You along with Norm, Max and few others that were loyal to Jake were chosen to stay.

Years had passed, you continued to tattoo as well as help out around the lab with whatever. You also knew Spider, a baby who had been left behind because he was to you, when you found out who his father was, it shocked you at the beginning, but you knew that Spider was not responsible for his father's sins.

When Jake and Neytiri began to have kids, you had been their. During the birthing ceremony, it made you happy seen that your friends and his mate were starting a family. You were also their when both Neteyam and Now Kiri had their first communication with Eywa, it was a beautiful sight to see in your opinion. Later that day you with Norm and Max were with the Sullys, meeting the kids. You were able to hold Neteyam first, he looked just like his mother in your opinion. He was just the sweetest baby. Since then Jake and Neytiri had decided to make you the God Mother of their children, you had never felt so honored in your life.

As the kids grew up, they had take a huge interest on your tattoos, they liked running their little fingers on your ink and they'd ask you questions about them, when you'd draw a new tattoo, they watch you work the whole time. Even though your body had been mainly covered in Tattoos, you began to tattoo flowers about them on your skin. You had tattooed a wildflower for Neteyam, a waterlily for Kiri, then a carnation for Lo'ak, and lastly a daisy who was Tuk. You loved the Sully kids as if they were your own. At first they didn't get why you had tattooed flowers based on them, you told them what each flower from earth meant.

A wildflower meant Strength, a waterlily meant Rebirth, a carnation was for Pure Love and a daisy was of Innocence. They didn't get them at first until later, they were still young. You also checking all your equipment and art supplies, you were shocked to see how much supplies you were given when you got here. You had been thinking of adding more ink to your right arm, it had nothing on it, why not add more. Time had passed now, the kids were older now, during their now teen years, but Tuk was barely seven, she wasn't their yet. That day you had been in your studio working on a piece for one of the avatar's now full na'vi in the camp.

They had asked you for something, anything but it had to look cool, so that was what you were doing, just drawing and painting with some watercolors. Then Spider, Lo'ak, Kiri and Tuk came in into the studio.

"Hey y/n" Tuk was the first one to say. Turning from your work, you smiled widely at them "hey kiddo" you said opening your arms so that you could hug the little girl. Tuk went over to hug you. "Is it just me or did you get bigger?" you asked smiling at Tuk. She only giggled, meanwhile the teens had been looking at the work you had hanging on the wall. Kiri had sat on the tattoo chair and looked into your book of tattoos you already had, that was a thing she normally did. Lo'ak and Spider were discussing about tattoo ideas they wanted.

"What are you working?" Tuk asked, as you sat her on another chair you had nearby "a new piece, someone had asked me if I could make them something." You said as Tuk looked at the work, it was a jackal dog with a headpiece with other accessories which involved the Egyptian symbol of life. "I like it" she said smiling at you "when can you teach me how to tattoo?" Kiri asked, while looking over at you and Tuk. "I mean, I'll have to ask Jake and Neytiri, but you could be my apprentice for starters" you said as you felt Tuk look at our left arms, running her little fingers on the daisy tattoo that had been laying on your forearm, at the end of the other small flowers. She loved looking at the daisy tattoo since it was suppose to be her in a way.

"When will you tattoo us?" Lo'ak asked, walking over at your desk with Spider following behind. "I need parental permission, I've told you may times" you said looking at the boys. "Come on Y/n! We're not on earth" Spider whined. "I don't care, I need the permission of your parents, I won't repeat myself again" you said making both boys roll their eyes. "Besides, what do you want to tattoo on your skin?" you asked, putting your work away on spot for it to dry. "Something cool, like um..." Spider stopped to think. "I'm cool with anything you have" Lo'ak said with a smile.

"This one is pretty, can I have it?" Kiri asked, you went over to see what she was talking about. You saw the page was the old home of the Omatikaya. "I drew that for Neytiri, it was going to be mother's day gift" you said getting their attention. "What's mother's day?" Tuk asked. "Well, It's a human holiday, it a day you thank your mother for doing everything she did for you" you said as Tuk nodded understanding. "Hm, since it's already something for mom, could I get a drawing?" Kiri asked again, making you remember something. "I have something for you."

You said going over to open a drawer and pulled out a binder, looking through the binder you found the picture. You took the picture and handed it to Kiri, who took it and looked at it. It was a picture of spirit tree with smaller woodsprites. "This one was for your mom Grace, I finally got her to let me tattoo her" you smiled at the thought. Remembering you begged Grace to let her tattoo for weeks until she finally agreed. Kiri looked at the picture, almost in tears. "I love it" she said. "It's yours if you want it" you said making her look up at you. "Really?" she asked. "Of course!" you said chuckling at her response. "Can I get a drawing to?" Tuk asked, you then looked back at the binder and looked in it, finding a drawing of a tiger, this tiger was meant for Trudy, but it wouldn't hurt to give it to Tuk. "You can have this one" you said handing the picture to Tuk who took it gladly with a smile. "I want one to!" Lo'ak chimed in followed by Spider. "Me too!"

That whole evening, you and the kids had just been talking about things. Some were about tattoos and how you learned how to tattoo. They always asked about your first tattoo and how it felt, you had pictures of yourself when you were younger with your first tattoo then more of the time process involving tattooing. Later your godchildren to leave, you wished them a goodbye and a goodnight, while Spider hanged around a bit more until eventually going to his room.

The next morning you had been at the studio setting up the equipment, to start Tattooing the na'vi had requested a tattoo. His name was Liam, you had known him during your time on Pandora, you remember tattooing him in his human body. After his body transfer, he wanted to be tattooed allover again, but with different tattoos. He thought that your work was badass, so he had asked you if you could make up with his new set of tattoos. Liam was laying on the bed, as you worked. He wanted the tattoo of on his chest, man was his chest big. When tattooing avatars it took a bit longer since their bodies where bigger.

The whole time, Liam had been asking questions about how long you had been tattooing along other things. You had been sitting on his lap to work better. Liam had also had his hand on your lap, gripping onto your thigh when the pain got to big. He'd also slip in some flirty comments, making you laugh and flirting back. He really is a nice guy in your opinion. "Okay, its done" you said to Liam, then you handed him a mirror you had. He looked at his chest, seen the now purple skin around the black ink. "It's cool, I like it" he said, making you smile. "I'm glad" you said, safety disposed of the needles then applied some cream where the tattoo is and finally placed plastic onto the tattoo to protect it. "Thank again y/n" he said sending you a toothy smile. "Any time Liam" you smiled back at him, feeling your face get hot. "Hey, if you aren't busy later, would you... like to hang out maybe?" he asked shyly, seen his face turn a purple color. "Yeah, I'd like that" you said smiling at his shyness.

After he left, you cleaned and sanitized everything that had been used, putting away your equipment. The kids would be arriving soon around this time. Once the place was clean, you decided to work on your arm tattoo. You got your sketchbook and had began to sketch, at first you had drawn an orchid, but that orchid had turned into a thanator, as you continued to draw the creature, you added some orchids around the animal. After the sketch you began to watercolor the creature black and white, you liked colors but black and white looked better on almost everything.

"Y/n!" Neteyam had entered the room, you looked up from your work and literately jumped from your desk. "Neteyam!" you said walking over to the much taller na'vi and hugged him. You still remembered when he was still a baby, he was now a teenager, considered an adult by the Omaticaya. "How has it been? I haven't seen you in days" you said teasing the boy. "Sorry, just training to be the next Leader, I haven't forgotten about my favorite god mother" he said, making you giggle. "I'm your only god mother Nete" he giggled. "Where the others?" you asked. "Oh, they got into trouble so they weren't allowed to come here and see you" he said giving you a sad smile. You only sighed "it's fine, they're kids after all" you said smiling at him.

"So what are you working on?" he asked looking over at your desk. "Oh, my next tattoo" you said, handing him the sketchbook. He looked at it, with a face full of interest. "Nice, I like it" he said looking over at the other work hanged on walls. "You have really nice work Y/n" He admitted as you smiled at him. "Well, thank you Neteyam" you said making Neteyam look at you "no, like I mean it. Your work is awesome, I've never seen this kinds of things on paper, shit on skin even" he said making you chuckle. "Also, why flowers?" he asked you, looking at your left arm were your flowers had been tattooed. "Well, I love you guys like flowers, I've always liked flowers" you mentioned, looking at the inked flowers. "Do they have any sort of meaning for you to pick those specifically?" he asked, you nodded at his response. "Yeah, I always like the language of flowers." You said facing the forest boy who was now sitting on the tattoo chair.

"For you a picked the wildflower, it means Strength. Kiri I picked a waterlily, which means Rebirth. Lo'ak a carnation which means Pure Love. And Tuk a daisy, meaning Innocence." You said, seen the look of interest in Neteyam's face. "That's cool honestly" he said as you laughed by a thought. "I remember when Lo'ak had asked why flowers" you said, as Neteyam also laughed. "Yeah, but he was like very young" he said.

"Do you ever want to get a tattoo?" you asked out of curiosity. "To be honest yeah, but not just any. I want my tattoo to mean something." He admitted as you thought to yourself. "Well, I could come up with something for you, I'll add whatever you want" you said smiling at the teen. "Really?" he asked, now excitedly. "Duh! I'm the only tattoo artist here." You teased at Neteyam. "Shit, we could start right now" you said getting your sketch book and pencils. You both sat on your desk to talk about the tattoo. The whole time you were drawing while Neteyam added somethings while you drew on the paper.

That whole rest of the day, you and Neteyam had been talking about his idea while you drew them. It was coming out good, you added everything he had been asking. You wanted the tattoo he wanted to be the perfect tattoo for him. "I have to go, it's almost eclipse." He said getting up from the desk. You closed the book and put away your pencils. "Alright" you said pulling him into a tight hug. "Be careful" you said as he had hugged you back and left back home.

[blueroan-equestrian]

Betrothed

You are Ronal and Tonowari eldest daughter and you grow up after being promised to Neteyam and the two of you learn to grow together of course a lot has changed and as adults smut

I was the eldest daughter and child of Tonowari and Ronal. I refused to find a mate as I found it a waste of time and it drove my parents crazy. So when they came across the Sully’s they saw an opportunity. They conditioned their sanctuary with betrothing their eldest son to me.

“What? No I won’t do it…” I pleaded.

“Then we will have to send them on their way.” My father said pulling out the guilt in me knowing that they were running from something bad and we couldn’t just let them go and risk getting into a horrible situation.

“Stop we’re not doing that… I will agree to be betrothed to him.”

…

Mean while the Sullys who were given a chance to think it over

Pov of sully family

“We can keep going… I’m sure that we can find another place… we can go at it alone.” Jake reasoned.

Neytiri nodded solemnly too tired to say anything.

Neteyam serious and ever the responsibile one, “No… you said we came here because this is the best place to avoid RDA. If I have to be betrothed then… I will.”

Jake pulled his son in, “Are you sure son?”

Neteyam nodded.

… normal pov

I joined my family meeting with the Sully family.

The father of the family and a boy my age stepped forward, “My son, Neteyam has agreed to your terms.”

My father smirked and placed his hand on my shoulder, “This is my eldest daughter and future Tsahìk. My son here” he sweeps his arm over to my brother, “Aonung, will teach him to make a traditional betrothal necklace for her. You will be given a week”

“Dad, please it’s not easy to make. Please consider that they have to settle down in a new place because they were uprooted.”

Dad sharply inhaled, “Of course, two weeks but no more to have it presented.”

…

I created a betrothal necklace for him made of shells resembling the one he wears.

When we came to exchange our tokens he presented a intricate woven cord in a small net formation peppered with beautiful beads coming to frame a beautiful blue stone with a pattern carved into it.

Each of us placed the others necklace around the other’s neck.

… my sister really took a liking to Lo’ak and I could feel the tension it caused between the brothers. I was teaching their sisters about how to fish best when I asked, “how is your brothers adapting?”

The two exchanged looks, Kiri responded, “You mean Neteyam? He’s fine… but if you really want to know you should talk to him.”

“Oh no… I meant both… I noticed there’s quite a bit of tension between the two.”

Tuk shrugged and Kiri deflected, “oh you know how brothers are. You have two of your own surely they get into it.”

I nodded knowing that she could be telling the truth but felt like she was lying because of their position. I of course understood but I just wished that I could fix this.

When I was going back home to practice my lessons with my mother I overheard the Sully boys arguing. “You need to stop complaining Lo’ak! What about that one girl, huh? Tsireya? She’s here.” The voice of Neteyam was spoken.

Lo’ak groaned, “Ulg! That’s not the point! Everyone here are jerks! Why shouldn’t I want to go home? I just want friends. Of course you don’t understand!”

“Don’t understand? Lo’ak I’m betrothed! To someone I don’t even know! You at the very least can pick your mate when you are of age. You know you will love them and they you… I don’t get that! Of course I want to go home! But we are here now, so we need to make the best of it.”

… I found Neteyam with his parents and I called out for him to come join me in a walk. Once far enough I broke the silence, “Listen… I want to be clear. I know that we are betrothed but I want you to know that I will support you in whatever. I’m sure by the time we are of age this whole thing will have blown over and resolved. I’m sure…So you could move home or stay… I just don’t want you to feel trapped… I know you agreed to this ordeal to protect your family.”

Neteyam stopped walking serious, “I appreciate that… may I ask how are you taking this so well?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you were just betrothed to me like nothing.”

“I was given a choice and I chose to accept this so you wouldn’t be turned away. Plus my parents have been pestering me to start courting and this is easier anyway.”

“Easier?” He questioned.

I nodded as I shift my weight, “Yes, my parents get what they want for now, and I can focus on my studies.”

“You take breaks from your studies to help my sisters but couldn’t search for a mate?”

“That’s a big commitment. And it’s hard for me to socialize sometimes…But this was about something more than myself… I don’t know if I can find real love anyway. So don’t worry this is better for me… to not have to think about it… it’s something that helped someone else and not completely forced upon me either… not to mention you are very kind and clearly were being trained to take over for your father in your clan so you won’t be too far behind when we finish your basic training we can start training you for your role next to me, though it won’t be as leader because you aren’t from the clan…. You still have to be of the same standard as if you were. And most importantly at least this brings you and your family safety. Even if it turns out to be just a place holder.”

Neteyam stepped closer, ran his hands down my arms until he reached my hands and took them in his own hands. “Sweet girl, look at me. I think with time you and I will find a rhythm. We might not be as in sync as my brother and your sister but we are much more practical in our approach so we will need more time but… I made a promise and I keep my promises. You are not a place holder… I keep my word. Now let’s go find my siblings and see what they have gotten into.”

…

After one of our battles it was dark and I had heard that Neteyam had gone out to rescue his family and my sister while I had gone with another group but his return was grim. I had wished we were apart of the same group but unfortunately we were separated so I rushed to find him. He was on the ground with his family surrounding him. I slowly approached and when I saw his condition I screamed, “Neteyam! Neteyam!” I was beside his mother desperately holding onto him. When I look around and saw my sister who I ordered her to go grab the herbs I needed to pack and treat his wound. I was able to save him for the night. Loak was being shunned by his father so he was moping so I made him help me tend to Neteyam.

“Am I even really helping? I’m just going to mess it up just like I do everything!” He kicks the small table we had dragged into the room for me to have a place to prepare the food and remedies I would need to treat him.

“Lo’ak you mess things up because you don’t listen. If you listen, I promise you’ll learn and thus won’t mess it up. Now tell me what did you learn from him getting shot?”

He glared but sulked quickly, “That I shouldn’t have rushed in that I should have gotten dad… that I was in over my head. That I was reckless and I should have been more careful. But how am I going to fix this? I basically got him killed!”

“True, but your brother loves you and he was willing to give up everything for you. So let’s start with helping him heal and when he’s lucid enough you apologize and work from there.” I said as I ground up another paste to replace the one I washed off.

“But why am I here? I don’t know what to do like you do.”

“Well you are keeping me company. I’m exhausted and I need you to help keep me awake.”

He watched me applying the paste to Neteyam’s wound giving me a confused look, “you have been only applying that paste every couple of hours. You can take a nap.”

I chuckled, “I can’t… not until I know that he’s stable…”

Just then my mom stepped in followed by my sister. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come… but it looks like you have it handled.”

Tsireya huffed, “Mom! Look at her she’s exhausted! You have to help!”

Mom looked at the paste, “okay fine, you have done well but let me show you how to be more efficient.”

The wound healed enough for Neteyam to regain consciousness. “Neteyam, you opened your eyes! Come on open them again. Show me those beautiful golden eyes.”

He blinked and gave me a weak smile, “Ma (y/n), your in tears… have a you been hurt?”

“No, I wasn’t hurt. I’m just worried. Tell me how you are feeling?”

“I feel like I got shot.”

I gave a nervous laugh as I waved Loak over, “someone has something to tell you.”

While Lo’ak apologized mom left and I went to grab his sisters. I stood in the back and watched the siblings. Neytiri came through the door smiled at the sight looked at me hugged me and whispered before joining her kids “thank you.”

Jake came in and he looked like he could cry, “Is he?”

He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it, “mom came and helped… she got him stable. He will be alright.”

Jake placed a hand on my shoulder, “I know what you did for him, us… thank you.”

I nodded, “well now that he’s stable… I don’t want to be in the way… just make sure he continues to rest. He isn’t fully healed yet…”

Jake nodded, “go get some rest kid, you look exhausted. But come back after you get some sleep alright?”

I agreed and zonked out as soon as I laid down. I woke up still tired but I got up and made my way back to the Sully’s after I went out to catch some fish to feed the family. Lo’ak greeted me, “he’s asleep and mom and dad are with him. Do you want to come in?”

I nodded, “I brought fish to prepare you a meal. Can you help me with these?”

Lo’ak simply nodded and we got to work, “How are you feeling?”

“How am I feeling?” Lo’ak scoffed, “like I almost got my own brother killed… actually killed… what should I be feeling?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, I am not you. But I imagine, scared, angry, frustrated, hurt. All are valid.”

He laughed dryly, “yeah, you aren’t wrong.”

We finished up and brought it to the area Neteyam laid resting. Neytiri looked up and smiled tiredly. “(Y/n), it’s good to see you. Have you come to check on Neteyam?”

I nodded, “That and make sure everyone gets something to eat. How has he been?”

“Good… he’s strong. He… his wound seems to be healing quickly…. Thank you.”

I nodded, “of course, here please eat while I look him over.”

She agreed and woke Jake to give me room. I sit down on the cot next to Neteyam, “You are right it looks good. Mom is really a miracle worker. But I don’t think the fight is quite over. He still has to recover… healing is a step in the right direction but I don’t know how to explain it…”

“I understand.” Neytiri says coming to sit in front of me.

“So what next then?”

“He rests… then we make sure he eats and we go from there.” I say as I run my hand over him. “If he has slept for a while I would like to wake him up to eat.”

His parents agreed and we woke him up, “Ma (y/n).” He hummed, “what are you doing here?”

“Checking in on you and making sure you eat.”

…

He wasn’t healed enough to help finish the war so he had to stay with his younger sister and it drove him mad he couldn’t help but I was glad knowing he was safe…

His father led us to victory or at least for now. When we returned I went to find Neteyam. “Neteyam! We did it!” I called as I trotted up and threw my arms around him.

“You are a strong warrior and so are our people. Of course we did it.”

His baby sister came and threw her arms around us, “Does that mean mom and dad will be back?”

I chuckled, “yes.”

…

We are of age but we were given till the end of our training to bond. Which will be awhile so we would have time. “Neteyam? What are you doing?” I chuckled.

Neteyam was trying to build or make something, “Building our home.”

“Oh, well maybe you should start smaller… like a hammock? And we can do that together.”

“Alright but only because this is harder than I thought it would be.”

…

“Did you hear Tsireya is pregnant?” I asked walking into our little bungalow.

Neteyam gestured to Lo’ak , “yeah Lo’ak just told me. It’s exciting.”

…

We are both almost 26 and we still hadn’t mated or bonded. I held Lo’ak and Tsireya’s three year old in my arms as I awaited my sister to return with the toddler’s lotion as he had developed very dry skin. “Sorry about that! I’m back.” She takes Marek and as she begins to spread the lotion she say, “so your official training will be up soon have you made the bond yet?”

I looked at my feet, “no… we haven’t. You know we haven’t.”

“You need to do it soon! You are putting my family at risk. Dad will push them back out and then I and Marek will have to leave the only home we know!” Tsireya snapped. Her sudden burst of anger startled me.

I gave her a look, “Dad won’t do that anymore. He knows them now...”

Before I could continue Tsireya interrupted “You don’t know that! Dad always gets what he wants! You need a mate and it’s not like you have shown interest in anyone else!”

I scowled at her, “Oh so if you were the one with an arrangement for betrothal how would you tell Lo’ak that here when the mate is arranged, you don’t just mate in front of Eywa but the whole clan? Do you think that he would take that well?”

Tsireya seemed to finally understand what was holding me back. “Oh… right… do you think dad would make a exception?”

I shake my head, “no I already talked to him about it when I came of age… he agreed to let me push it back to once I finished my official training so that I could focus on just that… which bought me some time but I still don’t know how to bring it up.”

She nodded, “I’m sorry I snapped but I’m worried… and a little bit scared.”

I nodded, “I guess I should find dad…”

…

“Dad?… I was wondering… I know traditionally when arrangements with other clans the pair are normally to mate in front of the clan but because Neteyam won’t be chief I was hoping we wouldn’t need to do that…”

My father looked at me, “I suppose I trust your word you have proven yourself to be loyal to him and he you but it better happen before your training ends.”

I nodded, “yes father.”

I went to go grab Neteyam, “Hey we need to talk… so listen… we need to talk about us…”

Neteyam looks at me, “alright what’s up?”

“Are you happy with me?”

He gives me a weird look, “of course.”

“Then why haven’t you touch me?”

He came to sit with me at our table, “because… you’re brother told me about… your mating ritual for us… and you know wanted to push that out until you finished your training…”

“Wait you know about… the mating in front of the clan thing?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah, Aonung told me before he even started to teach me how to make your betrothal necklace.”

I tilted my head, “and you weren’t put off by that?”

He shifted, “back then… I was just focused on finding safety for my family.”

“And is that why you haven’t touched me to follow the expectations of the mating rituals… not because you don’t want me?”

“Yes of course, I don’t want to disrespect your traditions. Not going to lie I’m nervous…”

“Well I guess it’s good that Tsireya pushed me to face this… I talked to my dad and he agreed that it wasn’t necessary for it to be observed… that he would take my word as long as we don’t miss our deadline.” I hummed, “not exactly romantic but at least we won’t have to do something so intimate in front of our clan.”

He chuckled, “always so awkward. Luckily I don’t mind. We don’t exactly have a normal bond.”

“You can say that again. We have a time line and our options aren’t fully our options. Sure I think I’d pick you anyway but I don’t know if you would pick me.”

He leaned over and pulled me into his arms and onto his lap, “Ma (y/n), of course I would pick you. We had an unfortunate start but I am with you. Let’s go to Eywa tonight.”

…

Neteyam held my hand as he led me into the shallow water beside the reef. Both of us already stripped of our clothes. He knelt down pulling me with him. “You ready?” He asked retrieving his braid.

I nodded and pulled my braid over my shoulder as well. We held our queues up and let them intertwine. I take a sharp breath and so did he feeling the overwhelming sensation. He reached out touching my face redirecting my attention. He eyed my lips before capturing them with his own. He was dominant as his tongue found its way into my mouth and twisted and danced with my own. I rested my hands on his chest. He pulled away and took ahold of my thighs and pulled me onto his lap so that I am now straddling his lap. He kissed me one last time before he picked me up and helped me lower down onto his cock. I whimpered, “Teyam!”

“Baby… you feel so good… mmmm.” Neteyam moans.

He placed his hands on my hips helping me ride him. The water swished around us as we chased this wonderful feeling. I’m about to cum when he pulls out and flips onto all four he positions himself behind me and pulls my strong tail to the side and plunged back into me his fingers gripped my hips as he pumped himself into me. I was a moaning mess. He slapped my ass before pulling me up by my hair so I was flush to him, “Tell me baby, is my cock making you feel good? Huh? Come on baby tell me.”

I whined as he tugged my hair, “Yes! So good! Oel ngati kameie (I see you) Neteyam!”

He kissed my shoulder, “Oel ngati kameie (Y/n)… I’m going to cum baby!”

With that said I felt his seed shoot deep inside of me causing me to follow suit. He held me and guided me back so he could sit back on his haunches to rest while still inside of me. He kisses my shoulder, “that was something else.”

I was panting heavily too, “You can say that again.”

He held me on his lap hands wrapped around my stomach, slowly he began to rub circles around my stomach, “I think I put a baby in here.”

…

My belly began to grow and we were quite excited. We had created a life inside of me. While I prepared dinner and Neteyam wove the beginnings of a bassinet, his parents stepped in, his mother smiled and came to give me a hug and then touched my stomach. “Eywa has blessed us with another grandchild. May they grow stronger in your belly.”

Jake smiles brightly too and approaches his son to place a hand on his shoulder, “You must be excited. If you need anything you just let us know.”

The baby kicked while Neytiri’s hand was on my belly, “Jake! Come feel! The baby is kicking!” Jake joined her in placing a hand on my stomach.

The two were clearly over the moon despite this being their second grand child. “Have you thought of any names?”

Neteyam and I exchanged looks, “mom we’re waiting to meet them to decide what we think they should be named.”

“Alright son, we understand.” Jake laughed feeling another kick.

They stayed for dinner and then my husband excused us saying I needed to rest.

I gave birth to a set of twins, one girl and one boy. We named them, Nelani and Maliki.

[coconut-dreamz]

creepin'- neteyam sully

pairing: adult!neteyam sully x adult!f!reader

genre: modern au, angst, very very angsty

word count: 1.2k

warnings: cheating (not neteyam tho)

part 2

a/n: very angsty little drabble based off creepin' by 21 savage, the weeknd and metro boomin. i've been obsessed with this song lately and just needed to write this

Somebody said they saw you The person you were kissing wasn't me And I would never ask you, I just kept it to myself

earlier i had gotten a text from ao'nung. he asked if me and y/n broke up, cause he saw her at a club with another guy. he even sent me a picture, it was definitely her. she was wearing the dress i'd gotten her for her birthday a few weeks ago. his hands were all over her, his lips on her own. seeing the physical evidence of her infidelity broke my heart. i had my suspicions, but there had been no physical evidence. not until now. i couldn't even bring myself to answer his text. i had just been sitting on the edge of the bed for what felt like hours now. 

I don't wanna know, if you're playing me Keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore And if you creeping, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know

it was late when i finally found the energy to move. i crawled on my side of the bed and slipped under the sheets. i tried to fall asleep, but it was impossible. i couldn't stop thinking about the picture. it didn't help when she hadn't come home. she told me she was gonna be out with some friends. it was really late, when she finally came home and crawled into bed next to me. she smelled like alcohol and cologne that definitely wasn't mine. but the worst part, was that i was finally able to fall asleep now that she was holding me.

in the morning i woke up before her, i got up and decided to make breakfast for the both of us. i was in the middle of scrambling some eggs when she walked out from the bedroom, only wearing one of my tshirts. "morning love, did you have fun last night?" i look her in the eyes when asking. "yeah, the girls and i had a lot of fun at the club." she answers, lying straight to my face. honestly, i was glad she was lying about what had truly happened. that way, i could pretend that everything was still alright. i loved her too much to let go of her, so if this made her happy i wouldn't say anything. as long as she returned to me every night. 

I think about it when I hold you When looking in your eyes, I can't believe And I don't need to know the truth But baby keep it to yourself 

we were cuddling on the couch she was laying in my lap, a fluffy blanket wrapped around her frame. we were watching a random romcom i wasn't paying attention to. instead, i was looking at her. admiring her as she focused on the story unfolding before us. she looks up at me and grins when she realizes i was watching her. "whatcha lookin at?" she asks in a teasing tone. "just you," i answer with a small grin on my face. she just laughs and turns back to the film.

her eyes looked different now, no longer were they filled with love like before. now, there was something else in her eyes. there was now a veil of deception covering her irises, a veil that hadn't always been there. i just pushed the thought out of my mind and tried to enjoy the comfort of being with her.

I don't wanna know, if you're playing me Keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore And if you creeping, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know

it was another girls night, tonight. ever since i had received that text from ao'nung, i had dreaded girls nights. before, i was happy that she enjoying time with her friends, but now i knew that it was just a cover for her to hookup with other men. but i continued to pretend that i was blissfully unaware of her actions. so, when she left for girls night i gave her the kiss i always did and wished her a goodnight.

 "i'm leaving now baby!" her voice calls out from the front door, i rush over from my spot on the couch to bid her goodbye. i kiss her on the lips like i always do. "have fun baby, tell the girls i say hi," i add with a smile, but deep down i knew that the girls would never hear my greeting. "i will baby, i'll be back later," she responds and puts her heels on. i watched her walk out the door and right into the arms of another and i had to pretend i didn't know a thing.

Did he touch you better than me?  Did he watch you fall asleep  Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me?

she came home late once again that night. i laid awake in bed waiting for her to return to me. i couldn't do anything to take my mind off from her infidelity. i couldn't stop think about if he touched her better than i did and that's why she sought him out. i heard the door open and her keys jingle as they fell into the bowl that held them. i could hear her stumble her way towards our bedroom. she tries to stay quiet as she changes out of her dress and climb into bed alongside me. 

it's not long before i can hear her deep breaths, signaling that she had fallen asleep. i turn over and look at her peaceful state. i thought about whether or not she ever fell asleep in his arms like she does with me. or is this state that i only ever saw. thoughts about whether or not she showed him the places we liked to go and the things we do together.If you're better off that way  Baby all that I can say  If you're gonna do your thing, then don't come back to me

slowly, i was getting tired of the pretending. the girl's nights had become more frequent, along with staying back late for "work" i couldn't handle the lies anymore. i wish one day she would go out one night and never return to our shared apartment. she seemed less and less happy every time she came home, but she grew more and more happy before she left for her outings. when she was gone, it'd make me wonder where it had all gone wrong. when i had no longer been enough to satisfy her. was he richer than me? smarter than me? funnier than me? was he a better lover than me? 

If you creeping just don't let me find out  Get a hotel never bring him to the house  If you're better off that way  Baby all that I can say  If you're gonna do your thing, then don't come back to me

at first i was okay with the idea as long as she didn't ever let me know what was truly going on. i was happy she wasn't bringing him back to our home, our sanctuary. after a few months, i realized that if he was making her happier then she should be with him and end this madness. it was driving me crazy, all the lies and deceit that was between us now. i had finally had enough. when she was gone for a girls trip, i had packed up all my things and left. when she came back, the only thing that belonged to me would be my wedding ring, sat on top of divorce papers.

[pearlsinmyhair]

༄ breath of venus ༄

experimental chapter - you are dismissed

this chapter will happen at the end of the first part of the series. this is a piece of dialogue that i’ve thought about and wanted to see written, and i figured i’d share it with you all. also, i may be projecting some of my eldest-daughter syndrome into venus here.

warnings: angst. like father-daughter issues angst. venus shows her torture scars. mention of torture. mentions of child abandonment. self worth issues.

an: one of venus’s biggest journeys that she goes through is identity. so this is a exploration of a step in that journey.

this dialogue is not cemented, but the feelings are. tread lightly.

“it’s was cowardice that drove you away. it was not to protect your family, it was to ignore the conflict that was rising. you ran!”

“what was i supposed to do venus? leave them? let them stay in a war zone and let them suffer? become warriors before they were ready?”

“like how you did to me?”

the question was like a slap to the face. venus refused to meet his eyes as she gazed out at the ocean.

“like how you let me be taken and tortured? like how you left me with a pack of marines and just…trusted that i’d handle it? like how i’ve became a warrior and faced death and loss and hardship for years?”

her words turned harsh as they continued, and when she turned her gaze on him he suddenly wished she looked away.

her eyes were full of heat and anger and hate that made his mouth go dry. three months of constant suppression of her thoughts and sadness over their absence had hardened into cold acceptance.

she turned suddenly and lifted her hair and braid, revealing two perfect circles at the nape of her neck. they were white, but the skin around them was red and angry and streaked with what looked like white lightning.

“they tortured me, father. they strapped me down and dug through my brain.” she dropped her hair and turned back to him. “and i endured it all. all in hopes that you would find me. that you would want me enough to save me. that you would love me enough to risk your own life!”

her voice cracked with tears, chocking on the raw emotion balled in her throat. but she plowed on, the words tumbling from her lips like a waterfall.

“why don’t you want me? why? what have i done to you to make you abandon me?”

she looked at jake, pleading for him to speak. but all the words were gone from his throat. his brain was flooded with memories of the past years.

venus watching as he trained neteyam. venus asking to hunt with him. him denying her, telling her that he needed to take lo’ak to practice his skills. how venus retreated more and more, going on hunts with tarsem and coming back late at night from flying on her ikran. how over time she stopped calling him ‘dad’ and he became ‘father’, and then even that was gone as he became ‘sir’. how he caught her crying a few months after the war broke out, and he had left her curled in a ball on her mat. how she had looked limp in quaritch’s arms as he lifted her into the sampson.

and then it dropped. the question that he always knew was coming and dreaded having to face.

“is it because i’m not your daughter? or is it because i’m his?”

he winced, but he did not answer.

her eyes widened at his silence.

“never mind that grace raised me. never mind that i was only three when you found me. never mind that you taught me most of what i know, and mother the rest. never mind that i have lived with you for nearly sixteen years.”

tears rolled down her cheeks as she pleaded with him, trying to understand.

“all i wanted was for you to fight for me. all i wanted was for you to call me yours and defend me. i’m sorry…if that was too much to ask.”

she pushed past her mother as she exited the marui.

series master list

idk guys i had to write it. it was getting to me.

MY TAGLISTERS I HAVE A QUESTION. do you have certain things that you do and don’t want to be tagged in? let me know, because i feel like i bombard you guys.

taglist:

@lisedanie @avatar4eva @xstarsmvxz

[ash-mcj]

kiantu | blameworthy person

3.6k words | warnings: survivor’s guilt, self-worthlessness | AO3

Yawnetu—loved one Skxawng—moron Stiwisiyu—mischief maker

For the second time that week, Jake found himself searching every inch of Awa’atlu for Lo’ak—who was apparently under the impression that he no longer needed to adhere to curfews. Jake felt that expecting his children home by sundown was reasonable—the majority of the village was tucked away in their maruis by then—but apparently, his son disagreed.

Perhaps more frustrating than the disobedience was that Jake was a damn hypocrite for being irritated at all. When had he ever listened to curfews at Lo’ak’s age? Hell, he didn’t even listen to laws all the time when he was on Earth—though luckily, his children didn’t know about that.

After a while, Jake was beginning to come to the conclusion that Lo’ak wasn’t in the village. If he was out with Payakan beyond the reef at this time, Jake was going to ring his neck until his head popped off his shoulders. He was just about to head for the water, when a familiar voice caught his attention.

“Lo’ak, do not,” Tsireya said harshly, almost pleadingly. Jake silently crept closer to the voice, into the forested area of the island that the Metkayina people rarely ventured into, since the sea provided everything they needed. “Do not ever say that!”

“It is the truth,” Lo’ak stated dejectedly. “Everybody knows, but they are afraid to say it.”

Jake shielded himself from view behind one of the large tree trunks as he caught sight of the pair. They were seated across from each other on the ground, Lo’ak’s head hung towards his lap while Tsireya leaned forward in an attempt to see his face.

“Nobody says it because it is not true.”

“It is!” he sneered, glancing up at her through furrowed eyebrows. “You do not understand, Tsireya—you cannot understand!”

“Then who could?” she asked, her voice soft, but firm—as if she were trying to calm a wild creature and take control of the beast before it lashed out or ran. “Ma Lo’ak, I do not believe that you could find someone who would think the way you do. I think you are the one who does not understand.”

When Lo’ak didn’t respond, she reached out and cupped his cheek with her hand—and he immediately leaned into her touch, nuzzling his face against her palm. His eyes raised to meet hers, and Jake’s breath hitched at the raw pain swimming in them. Jake quickly averted his gaze, the vulnerability in their shared look causing guilt to stir in his stomach at his eavesdropping. Whatever this conversation was, it was not meant for his ears—or anyone’s, other than theirs. Jake should have spoken up when he’d first approached, he should’ve let them know they were no longer alone.

“You do not see the way they look at me,” Lo’ak whispered, drawing Jake’s attention back. Lo’ak’s tight features melted away as he continued, “My mom has barely spoken to me since Neteyam died, barely looked at me. I do not know if it is because she blames me, or if she sees him in me, or what. She is just sad all the time. Cold. I think a part of her died with him. And my dad—” his voice broke, and he cleared his throat as if trying to free the words lodged there. “He blames me. And he is right.”

Jake’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He didn’t blame Lo’ak for Neteyam’s death. Sure, he wished Lo’ak hadn’t led the children out to sea for Payakan while a battle was starting—but he could also acknowledge that he didn’t quite understand the bond between him and the tulkun. From what he’d heard about tulkuns, the Metkayina considered them more like people, family, rather than creatures. It was reckless for Lo’ak to put himself at risk, but it was loyal —and hadn’t Jake been drilling loyalty into his children’s heads since they were born?

Sullys stick together.

“Yawnetu,” Tsireya soothed. “You did not kill Neteyam.”

“I did. He wanted us to leave the ship, but I would not go without Spider. If I had not gone in, he would not have had to follow and protect me.”

“He did not have to. He wanted to protect you, because you were his little brother,” Tsireya assured him, her thumb brushing side to side under Lo’ak’s eye. “That was his choice.”

“It was not a choice!” Lo’ak hissed, turning his head to pull away from her touch. “If he went back to my dad without me, my dad would have skinned him! I knew that. I knew that if I ran in, he would follow, because he could not leave me.”

That wasn’t true—Jake wouldn’t have been upset if Neteyam had come to them for help instead of chasing after Lo’ak. Would he? With a sinking feeling in his chest, he realized that he wasn’t so sure of himself. If something had happened to Lo’ak and Neteyam wasn’t there… a regretful part of him knew that he probably would’ve blamed him, at least in some part. Shit, he and Neytiri had chastised him after Ao’nung had left Lo’ak beyond the reef—and Neteyam had nothing to do with it. Because it was the duty of a sibling to protect the others— especially as the oldest. He always instilled that into Neteyam, that he was expected to protect his siblings at all costs. Did Neteyam think that he’d be in trouble for prioritizing his safety? Did Jake make him stay on the ship?

“We would always get into trouble because of me,” Lo’ak said. “I would do stupid things, and he would follow me because he had to—and then we would both get scolded.”

“That is what siblings do.”

“There were a couple times when my dad told us that my recklessness would get us killed one day—but he was wrong. I only got Neteyam killed, while I am still here, bringing shame and disappointment to my family. I wonder if that was what Neteyam thought about as he lay dying. That what we always knew would happen was finally happening—that I was killing him.”

“You are not a disappointment—”

“Stop! I am! That is all that I am, and all that I ever will be!” Lo’ak shouted, barely getting another breath into his lungs before he continued, “And you can not tell me that I am wrong, because my dad has always told me how much I have failed him. Neteyam was the good one—the strong warrior, the responsible brother, the one who was just like my dad, the one my parents were proud to call their son.”

“Lo’ak—”

“I do not care if you tell me not to say it, it is true,” Lo’ak stated. “It should have been me. It would have been so much better for my family if I had died instead.”

Jake’s hand trembled as it came up to cover his mouth while Lo’ak’s words rang out into the quiet clearing and hung heavily in the air. For a moment, Jake forgot how to breathe, unable to think through the pain filling his chest like a poison-dipped knife. Lo’ak thought they would rather he be dead? Had Jake really failed so terribly as a parent that his son, his baby boy, didn’t think he was loved the way Neteyam was?

“Eywa chose him.”

“She chose wrong.”

“She cannot choose wrong.”

“Well, She did. I do not care if She is mad that I say it!”

“Lo’ak!” Tsireya said fiercely, grabbing onto his face with both hands and forcing him to look at her. His shoulders slumped and his fists relaxed into the grass, as if she’d sucked the anger out of him through her skin. “That is enough.”

“She should have reclaimed me,” Lo’ak whispered, almost too quietly for Jake to hear. “I wish she did. If there was anything I could do to switch places with my brother, I would do it in a single heartbeat.”

“Then I am grateful that there is nothing you can do! I love who you are very much, and I would be devastated to lose you. Think of Payakan—you have given him a brother after a life of exile. He would be heartbroken without you. Even Ao’nung and Rotxo care about you—you should see the excitement in their eyes when I tell them we will all hang out. I can not speak for your parents, because I do not know them well, but you must remember that you are not only Suli. You are Metkayina— and our clan is lucky to have you, as a warrior and a friend,” she spoke. Then, softer, she added, “I am lucky to have you.”

Silence followed for several seconds, before Lo’ak’s face crumpled as a broken sob escaped his chest—and Tsireya quickly pulled him into a hug, allowing him to bury his face in her neck.

“My dad hates me,” Lo’ak cried, his voice slightly muffled. “He always looks at me like he is waiting for me to fuck up. I know he blames me for Neteyam—he said it. During the battle, I wanted to help save my sisters, and he told me I had done enough, like he did not want me to help because I would get everyone else killed next. And when I went to find him while the ship was sinking, he thought I was Neteyam at first—and when I said I was Lo’ak, his face just… fell. He wanted to give up, to drown. He did not even want to live for me!”

Jake had forgotten that he’d said that. The moments after watching the life leave Neteyam’s eyes were blurry to him—all he could remember were the haunting sounds of Neytiri’s screams, the grief tearing through his soul, and the fear that gripped his heart at the knowledge that his daughters’ lives were still in jeopardy. But he didn’t blame Lo’ak… right? Thinking back, he remembered when he’d found him in the sinking ship—what had he said?

Lo’ak had apologized, taking blame for Neteyam’s death—and to Jake’s horror, he recalled that he hadn’t refuted the notion. ‘Focus on now,’ he’d said. Did he blame him, then? He knew he didn’t now—Lo’ak couldn’t be blamed for trying to protect his family—but then? When Jake was hurting, and terrified, and his children were dragged into a battle because Lo’ak had run out to sea? Maybe.

“Lo’ak, you must speak to him about this,” Tsireya told him.

“I cannot just… speak to my father. A warrior does not whine or cry, like a child—especially not when they kill their brother. I disappoint him enough—he does not need to know how weak I am, too.”

Jake thought back to several years ago, when a young Lo’ak would come running to him in tears after Neteyam or Kiri had pushed him a bit too hard, or called him one too many mean names, and Jake would scoop him up in his arms, wipe his tears, and ask him about his daily adventures through the forest until he’d forgotten that he was upset. When had Jake shut his emotions down, making him think he wasn’t allowed to have any? When had he made his youngest son feel that he couldn’t be open with him? He couldn’t pinpoint it, but one thing was certain: Lo’ak hadn’t come to him with just about any concerns or complaints in quite some time.

“It is not weak to feel things,” Tsireya argued. “The heart that allows you to feel hurt over your father’s words is the same one that shows compassion to Payakan, and holds affection for me, and races fast with excitement when you go hunting or exploring. You cannot choose which emotions your heart feels—sadness is just one of them. There is no weakness in emotion.”

Lo’ak pulled back and wiped his face with his hands in an attempt to dry the tears. After taking a deep, calming breath, he noted,  “It is dark. Our parents are going to send a search party, if we do not head back.”

“We should go,” she agreed. “Will you be alright tonight?”

“Of course,” he assured her, nodding. “I need to calm down before I go back to my parents, though, so… I am going to wait for a little while.”

Tsireya nodded and placed a kiss on his forehead, before rising to her feet. “I will see you in the morning. Ao’nung said you were hunting with them?”

“Yeah, I will meet you on the beach before we head out.”

“Sleep well, ma Lo’ak,” she told him as she brushed a hand over his braids.

“You, too.”

With that, Tsireya turned and took off towards the village—and Jake quickly ducked behind a tree before he was seen. He had to talk to Lo’ak, he had to tell him he’d heard him—he needed to tell him how wrong he was—but he wasn’t sure how to. Would Lo’ak be angry with him for eavesdropping, and shut him out? Should he talk to Neytiri before trying to deal with this? Jake wasn’t good at delicate, he wasn’t good at expressing feelings.

But this wasn’t about him. It was about Lo’ak.

As the boy stood and took a deep, calming breath, Jake knew he had to talk to him now. It couldn’t wait. Lo’ak couldn’t spend another night thinking he was unloved by the family.

The moment Jake stepped into the clearing, Lo’ak froze, his eyes wide and his back rigid.

“Sir,” he addressed, and Jake flinched as if he’d been slapped. He’d made his sons call him Sir, like they were his fucking soldiers. They were children, and he was supposed to be their dad. “I-I lost track of time, but I was just going back to the marui.”

“It is okay, son,” Jake said, his throat tight in a way that made it a bit difficult to force the words through. “Drop the Sir. Please, just—I never should have expected that of you. I am your father, call me Dad.”

“Okay.”

What was he supposed to say? He figured he should tell him that he’d been listening, but maybe letting Lo’ak repeat the words to his face would be better. More therapeutic for him or something? Fuck, he had no idea.

His body seemed to know what to do more so than his mind did, as he found himself stepping forward and throwing his arms around Lo’ak. He held him to his chest—probably just on the side of too tightly—and let out a shaky breath as he whispered, “I am so sorry, my son.”

“What?” Lo’ak asked, his hands hesitantly coming up to wrap around Jake and return the hug. But the moment was short-lived, as Lo’ak then pulled back to look at him. As soon as his eyes found Jake’s face, he gasped. “You are crying.”

Jake brought his fingers up to his own face, and sure enough, it was soaked. He was crying.

“What has happened?” Lo’ak questioned, fear dripping from his voice. “Is it the girls? Have they been hurt?”

“No, no, your sisters are fine—they are perfect,” Jake calmed him.

Lo’ak relaxed a bit, but his eyes couldn’t help but flicker anxiously to Jake’s tear-stained cheeks. “What is wrong, then?”

“I heard you,” Jake admitted. “Talking to Tsireya just now—I heard you.”

Understanding registered in Lo’ak’s eyes and he tried to step back, but Jake grabbed onto his shoulders to keep him close.

“I have been a shit father, Lo’ak.”

“No, you—”

“Just—let me,” Jake interrupted him. He swallowed several times, before continuing, “I am sorry that I have been so hard on you— and Neteyam. I thought the best way to keep you safe would be to turn you into soldiers, prepared for whatever war you wandered into, but I… I was wrong. I should have taught you how to be warriors without taking your father from you. I wish you would have come to me, when you were feeling these things. I wish I had made you feel that you could.”

“It is okay, S— Dad,” Lo’ak assured him. “It is stupid, anyway—I think my head has just been kind of messed up. I probably hit it on the coral too many times. Kiri said I was dropped as a baby—maybe that is why.”

Jake smiled, a bit sadly, and put his hand on top of Lo’ak’s head. “You were dropped as a baby, but so were she and Neteyam. Parenting can be difficult. You mother and I still have not mastered it.”

“Well, please do not have any more children. I do not think I could survive another sister.”

“Skxawng,” Jake chuckled, and Lo’ak gave him a half-hearted grin. “I used to deflect my pain with humor, too.”

“We do not need to talk about it,” Lo’ak said, his eyes practically begging. “What you heard. It does not matter.”

“It does,” Jake argued. “It matters, Lo’ak—because you matter.”

“I know I do.”

“It did not sound like you knew.”

“I was being dramatic.”

“You were hurting,” Jake corrected. He took Lo’ak’s face in his hands. “You are hurting, and that matters to me.”

Lo’ak was silent for a moment, then sighed. “What am I supposed to say? You already heard.”

“I guess it is me who has things to say,” Jake reasoned. Figuring it was best to start with the most pressing issue, he said, “I handled Neteyam’s death poorly. I said things to you that I did not think through. I felt guilty and ashamed that I could not protect my own children—and I knew that it was me who Quaritch wanted. I let his people take Neteyam’s life instead of giving him my own. But, I knew I could not break then. I had to be strong, and I had to be brave, and I could not let myself crumble under my grief and fear. So I-I shifted that blame from my shoulders to yours. I did not even realize it, until now. I was weak. But you, you were so strong. You went into a sinking ship and saved my life, while bearing the guilt and pain that I could not. I am so proud that you were stronger than me, but you never should have had to be. Neteyam’s death was not your fault.”

“But he was there because of me.”

“Your brother was there because he was a warrior. He would have been there regardless, fighting for our family and the Metkayina who took us in. Spider is not a Sully, but he has been as close as he could get to being family for your entire life. And Sullys stick together. I do not blame you for rescuing him, and Neteyam would not blame you, either. You understand me?”

Lo’ak nodded, and Jake tipped his head to press their foreheads together.

“I have never, even once, wished that it had been you instead of Neteyam,” Jake said. “I need you to get that through your head, boy. I wish neither of you had died, but I swear on everything that I never thought the wrong son did. When we were still in the ship, and you saw my face fall upon hearing your name, it was not that I was disappointed to see you. I thought I had already died. When I realized that I was still alive, and I understood the situation we were in… Lo’ak, I was terrified. I was injured, and I knew I could not hold my breath the way you kids had learned to, and I believed that I was going to drown. And you being there would take you down with me, unless I told you to leave me. I did not give up on you—I gave up on myself. And without your help, I would have drowned. I have never been disappointed to see you—not then, and not any of the times you were a disobedient stiwisiyu. I have always been proud and grateful to be your dad. There is no amount of misbehaving you could do that would make me love you less. I love you so much, my son. I failed you as your father by making you ever question that.”

Lo’ak sniffled as a tear escaped his eye, and Jake pulled him into another hug, resting his hand on Lo’ak’s nape to hold him more securely.

“I love you, too, Dad,” Lo’ak mumbled into Jake’s shoulder, as he clinged to him.

“You said Neteyam was just like me, but you were wrong,” Jake whispered into his hair. “Neteyam was just like Toruk Makto. You are just like me. You did not know me before your mother knocked some sense into my thick skull, but I was a real knucklehead. Her nickname for me was skxawng. I was reckless and confrontational, and I rarely listened to orders. That is why I have always been so hard on you—I have always been afraid that I would lose you, because I know myself.”

“You could have given those qualities to Tuk,” Lo’ak teased, laughing softly. “You already gave me your weird fingers, toes, and eyebrows.”

“Sorry, I did not get to choose,” Jake told him, a smile forming on his face. “But between you and me, I think our fingers and toes make us better warriors. Do not tell your mother.”

“Better balance,” Lo’ak agreed.

“Better grip on a knife.”

this is my first time writing for avatar, so if the characters are a bit ooc...well, i’m still figuring out their voices/personalities. 

likes, reblogs, and (nice) comments are super appreciated ♥

[pixxiepix]

I have different fandoms but I'll go with KNY and Genshin Impact ( and one for Avatar twow lmao)

Tanjiro Kamado : Like??? You probably already know why, but the way he's so kind to people just stuck to me. However, he doesn't let anyone walk over the people he loves and is so determined to do anything to those he loves. plus hes adorable and one of my favorite mc haha marry me-

Akaza : You rengoku fans can kill me, but I just love his character. Yes, I know his actions will never ever be justified, but I love his respect and once I found out about his backstory, I cracked. Not to mention that he knew he lost to Tanjiro and Giyuu, and just accepted fate and did the job himself, giving a soft smile to the boy who defeated him. I'm just glad he was able to be with his one true love in the end. (Plus I dislike douma so-)

Genya Shinazugawa : Oh, how I absolutely love this boy. I understood completely why he was so boastful, just for his brother to accept him and forgive him for their past. He's so soft and I love his friendship with Tanjiro. His death and last words broke me, but I can be happy once I found out his afterlife with Sanemi was better than ever.

Kaeya Alberich : I hate and love this dude. His flirts do get on my nerves, but I can't help but feel flustered. He's so mysterious and when I found out he was canonically shy?? That just made me fall in love with him more <3 (Love you too diluc, don't worry)

Zhongli : Zhongli, Zhongli... oh how I wish you were real. The moment this man spoke, I almost fainted. Not because he has the same va as hawkmoth from the show I despise but because its so soothing... I just know he's husband material and his memory line made me sob. I love you so much, Zhongli <3

Aether : I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HIS SISTER TOO- Ahem, also one of my favorite MCs. Totally not also because he shares the same english VA as Tanjiro- even if he doesn't really have a personality, I can tell the sass is there and I love the idea of him being the sun while Lumine is the moon. The only comission I have for him is to marry me-

Spider Soccoro : Skin me alive, do whatever, but I do not care that he saved Quaritch. It was completely understood on why he did it. This young boy for 15 years did not feel like he fit in with the Na'vi and the fact his father was the person who murdered so many of the people he wanted to fit in with did not make him feel better. Neytiri's trauma is definitely understandable, but it does not justify that she pushed it onto a kid of a man that even he hates himself. Not to mention the Sully family didn't really care (Only Kiri cause shes the real one). Jake knew that he was kidnapped and handed to the WORST people ever, yet he only worried that Spider was going to leak information, not about his safety, causing them to move somewhere else. Yet, Spider did not say anything at all. He was tortured, and even admitted that they would have to kill him, because he would not say anything to the people he's loyal to.

For months, Recom!Quaritch shown him more affection than the Sully's had for years. They bonded together, through their first Ikran and even when be was kidnapped. Quaritch could have killed the Metkayina's, yet he didn't all because Spuder begged him not to. Yes, he still burned down the huts which is obviously a vile thing to do, yet he didn't take a single life away. (Only an ilu, but I believe it was someone else who shot it.)

Onto the final battle, LYLE WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT NETEYAM. For the last time, get that in your head spider anti's. Forwarding, When Spider was about to get slashed to death by Neytiri, he didn't care and worried about Kiri, who was being held at gunpoint. At that moment, Kiri's life was more important than his own. Right when has was about to get stabbed, Quaricth panicked and screamed at Neytiri to stop, releasing Kiri all because was worried. Worried, guys. Spider saved him because he owed him for saving his life. No matter if that person killed someone, it's still murder and Spider could not live by that at all. He was neglected, and Spider is torn between two people.

All I want to do is hug that boy close to me, and tell him everything will be alright ♡

❗ YOU THERE! Yes, you scrolling tumblr! Hold right there!

Tell me, what made you fall in love with your favorite character?